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2 Bumps

Lifestyle change.

I'm considering changing my lifestyle by a lot. First off, Dh and I fight a lot. Not huge screaming battles, but we're currently hardly ever in the same room, and he won't spend any time with me (guess he's taking a break from me?). I don't know. Anyway, I've noticed since we've been together that I've become a different person, and the change has not been good. I'm not as nice to people, I'm not as friendly and I dislike myself.

So, I've been thinking that becoming religious would help me. I don't believe in God, so I was thinking Buddhism has alawys interested me and I would like to convert (from nothing to Buddhism that is).

Can anyone give me a clue as to how to do this? I'm completely new to the whole thing.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jul. 28, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I agree with many other posters. If you are interested in Buddhism, read, learn, and practice. There is no need to formally 'convert' to Buddhism. Buddhism is a practice, not a statement of belief. I have practiced Buddhism for several years now and have found that, with practice, I have become a calmer, less anxious, and less needy person. But it is not a quick fix for a relationship in crisis. I would suggest a serious talk with dh and, if he is willing, marriage counseling for a marriage that has grown apart over time. My dh and I went to marriage counseling a few years ago and both now agree it was the best thing we could have done for our relationship, although he was reluctant to go at first. I hope things improve and wish you luck on your journey!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 9:27 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You need to be able to recognize your emotions, actions, and how they affect those around you and find alternative methods of dealing with or controling them. Try counseling. Religion while it may help on one hand, it could also simply become a tool which enables the fighting to continue, etc by ignoring the underlying issue and focusing your attention into the religion instead of fixing the problem.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:34 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • That is a really good answer Kristi. She's completely right. Counseling would help you out better than anything right now. I have seen religion being used as a weapon in relationship and instead of making things better, the couple ends up worse. Counsiling is a good thing, it is YOUR time to help make you an even better....you.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:40 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • I agree very much with the ladies above. But if you truly are interested in Buddhism, you should learn as much as you can about it by reading books or speaking with a practicing Buddhist. The thing about Buddhism is that it is a very diverse philosophy. There is no fixed ideology or thesis such as in most Abrahamic faiths, but you should learn and accept the teachings of Buddha and the Four Noble Truths. Learn, learn, learn is my advice.

    KelleyP77

    Answer by KelleyP77 at 4:19 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • OK religion isn't going to help with your relationship. Your relationship seems to have some deeper issues sop you need to find out what those are. Not put a religious band aide on it. Talk to your dh find out the issues. GOOD LUCK. I'm not trying to be mean just honest.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:55 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • If you are interested in Buddhism study it!! Read, Read, Read about it - and take notes. Look at other paths that may be out there as well. You may find it's not for you and find a different path that is. But, like the others say "religion" may not "fix" you - there may be other avenue you need to travel to mend your relationship!! I wish you much luck!!

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 4:07 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • While I am not knocking religion... and it, naturally has it's place, ultimately, it sounds like your problem lies in a lack of communication between you and you husband.

    Try planning time for just the two of you... no computer, no TV, no radio, etc.... just you two talking. Sometimes couples can get so caught up in the daily crap that they tend to forget how to REALLY talk with each other and before the know it they feel like they DON'T actually know each other anymore.

    Take the time to get to know each other again. Maybe you could make a game of it... each of you write down 5 questions and challenge each other to answer the question as honestly and detailed as is possible (NO yes or no questions allowed). Ask questions about sexual fantasies... things like that.... HARD questions that actually REQUIRE thought and hard core honesty!
    Crimsonia

    Answer by Crimsonia at 5:13 PM on Jul. 28, 2010