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How do i deal appropiately with my 8yo stealing and lying

Hello, my name is Heather and I am new to this site. I am struggling with how to discipline my son (ADHD) about stealing from someone’s house. He stole 6 pieces of jewelry from her( my new step-mother) box. When I was cleaning the next day I found the items at first he said he had no idea how they got there but I had a feeling so I e-mailed pics of the jewelry and found out that it was stolen. Right now I have him sitting in the corner and told him that I know the truth and when he is ready to tell me the truth he can come out of the corner. I plan on having him apologize to the person on the phone, she dose not live close and they are moving further away tomorrow so I can not take him to her and have him give the items back and apologize which is what I think should happen. Beyond this I am not sure how to deal with this appropriately. If any of you have advice, experience or anything please HELP M

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hsmart83

Asked by hsmart83 at 1:44 PM on Jul. 28, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • First off, make him call and apologize, then make him go down to the UPS store and have the items professionally wrapped and shipped back to your step mom at his expense. If he doesn't have money...make him work to pay the cost, having set an hourly wage you think is fair.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 1:47 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Stealing is a no no, I think what your doing is good. If he don't tell you then, no tv or anything until he admits it.

    Is he your only kid??? If you know for sure he did then you are doing it right already.

    Tell him he should never lie to you, because then you will not know when he is lieing or telling the truth, and if he is always honest with you. You will always stand by him 100% .
    Welcome aboard...
    Good luck!!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:47 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • http://www.becomingtheparent.com/subsections1/question70.html
    Liz30355

    Answer by Liz30355 at 1:49 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • sounds like to me you are handling just how I would
    mscamp0235

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 1:49 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • I think the plan to apologize over the phone is good. I'd ask why he took the items and why he thought it was okay. What did he plan to do with them? I'm not sure about correct punishment because I have kids the same age and haven't had to deal with it. We might have them talk to a local cop about stealing and what kind of life it can lead to or something like that and then ground him. I heard some parent told their kid to write down the experience of what they did so they could read it in front of their class! Can you imagine? Seems a bit much to me but I think it probably scared the kid. Good luck.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:50 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • I think you doin good with what you already doing. I say take some priveledges away, tv, games, seeing friends, ect...
    missbritt22

    Answer by missbritt22 at 1:50 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • I am thank you he just appoligized and he is on restriction my parents never were good ones and i appreciate all the advice. he is crying now and because he had to call my dad (his grandpa) and appoligize he is emmbarassed but i can only hope it is enough. My dad told him not to worry about it but i want him to get that it is NOT OK. i dont think it should just be forgotten am i being to hard on that ?>
    hsmart83

    Comment by hsmart83 (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Take away his favorite things so he learns consequences (for a least a week or 2), then make him apologize so he has to face who he stole from and lastly - he's just a kid so don't be too hard on him. Compulsive behavior sometimes means he either wants your attention or has a difficult time rationing between right and wrong. Good luck !
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 2:03 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • I have to take my 3yo to pre-school but i will check out the awncers when i get back
    hsmart83

    Comment by hsmart83 (original poster) at 2:04 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

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