Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I handle this situation?

I live an hour 1&1/2 away from where I'm from, I moved 5 years ago. My Husband got laid off in May & is drawling unemployment. We are just barely getting by right now. I'm getting ready to start College in August full-time. I have no family where we live. This is my problem....

My mom called Today she knows my Husband is on unemployment, I tell her over & over again we don't have the money to come visit. She was wanting me to meet her half-way, but I DO NOT have the money. My husband is getting $280 every week, we have to pay 1 bill each week, diapers & wipes, gas, food. Anyway... My mom was wanting me to meet her half & i have explained to her over&over again, we don't have any money left after we pay everything.
I said "Unemployment isn't much to live on when you have bills." She said, "Well thats something you will have to figure out."

Why in the world would a MOTHER say that to their DAUGHTER??!

Answer Question

Asked by marcnsarah at 6:11 PM on Jul. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Ask her if she figured out how to come see you half way. If she says yes, then tell her to figure it out the rest of the way.

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 6:14 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • She sounds cold blooded and not understanding at all. My husband is also unemployed and my mother would never say such a thing. I'm sorry yours did. If she wants to see you so bad why can't she come all they way or send money for a vacation? Now, wouldn't that be a sweet gesture?

    Answer by parrishsky at 6:20 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • :( i know how u feel, not to that extent, but my husband doesn't get paid that much and my parents and sisters all live about 4 hours away and are always wanting us to go up there to the 'city' to visit them but its SOOO much harder for us on one income with 3 kids to travel to see them. its not easy for them either cause we don't have a big house or anywhere for them to stay when they come down here but at least they can afford the gas and such... I would just keep telling her its not possible right now. When your husband finds work again or u can get any little extra money you will try and go visit her. if its that important to her that she see you and your kids then she'll make the effort to go the whole way :(

    Answer by DreainCO at 6:21 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • tell her to put a check in the mail for gas money & you will come see her. Otherwise it aint happening.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:25 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Maybe she should come visit you. It would cost less for one person to travel.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:28 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • My answer may not be a popular one BUT... please understand I'm speaking from the heart...

    I am 39, almost 40 y/o now, and over the past 20 years I got to spend right at a total of 6 months with my Momma. See I have lived halfway across the country or further all this time. I would have given just about anything to be able to live ONLY 1 1/2 hours away from her...

    Back in May, my Momma died and I will NEVER get to visit her... ever again.

    I understand her telling you that "You'll just have to figure that out" sounded cold, but she DOES have a point...

    Try doing some babysitting to earn a little extra money... she wants to meet you half way... that means rather than either of you having to drive 3 hours total, you would only have to be able to drive 1 1/2 hours each... at most that would be about 90 miles of driving... less than half a tank of gas... $10 for babysitting would EASILY cover that much fuel... cont'd....

    Answer by Crimsonia at 6:35 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Earn another $10 - $15 and you could pay for your own lunch.

    Please... don't allow so few miles and so few dollars to keep you away from your Mom.... Treasure her presence in your life.

    Answer by Crimsonia at 6:39 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Why can't she make the drive to come and see you guys? Why do you have to make the distance to see her? Ask her that.
    Don't let her bully you.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:44 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • You have to stand by your husband. He and your kids are YOUR family.. Explain to your mom that she is always welcome to come see yal.. right????? She will either get over it or she wont.. Dont stress girl, do what you gotta do to keep your family fed and happy....

    Answer by kweldon at 6:52 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Just tell her no. Its harsh but its the way it is right now.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:53 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.