Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does anyone elses husband only drink alcohol with people outside the marriage?

Hubby decided that having a glass of wine or a beer is "just not something he wants to do." He "doesn't even like it." But his co-workers frequently go out to dinner after work and he will not turn down a glass of wine despite his "feelings". (Most of his co-workers are women by the way.) But if I buy a bottle of wine he WILL NOT drink it with me unless I literally pour it for him...... and even then he'll maybe drink half and he is NOT comfortable doing this around me. Is it stupid that I get worked up over this??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • maybe he is just being nice to co workers i mean if htey offer then he is probably being polite just talk to him abou tit

    Answer by iloveyall2008 at 9:25 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I would say when you mix such behavior with mostly female co-workers--you are dealing with some possibly serious stuff. I am not doubting your husband--but he is putting himself in a place of great temptation. Why he won't drink with you I am not sure--did you ask why he will drink with other women but not you? And you have every RIGHT to feel the way you do. Pay attention to your feelings--you are right on with this one. Alcohol causes far more than most people think.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • really should ask him why, say your not comfortable with him drinking with other women. do you know where he goes? show up and see if he still drinks.

    Answer by imanixon2 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I disagree with the "just being nice"--he is a grown man, he doesn't need to "comply" to fit it. It comes down to doing what he feels is right. If he doesn't like it, why is he trying to "fit in" with a bunch of women? I would encourage him to not even go--tell them he wants to get home to his wife:-) If he is drinking and doesn't want to--he needs to figure that one out especially since he is a husband and especially if he is a dad. If he can't stand against peer pressure, how will he expect his kids to??

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • That would scare me. They say drunks are the most honest! So Id worry hed be afraid of getting to lose around you & saying stuff he may regret...
    (lol) right now im reading a book East of Eden. One Character is a really bad scheming person, but she lives the life of a sweet good girl. Well she tries to warn people she doesnt like to drink, but they force it on her & soon live to regret it cause the 'real her' comes out & she lets them have it!

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:29 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • In addition..... This has happened several times now and each time it causes conflict and he says the same thing. "I don't even like it, I'll just try not to do it anymore." So then we're back to the "no alcohol" rule, until he goes out to dinner again after work. Just FYI he won't miss church for anything, wants to be an elder one day, and he also smokes and hides that from me too. I'm pretty sure his language isn't as clean at work as it is at home either. It's like a double life kinda thing..... He's also really urked that I'm not getting close enough with people at our church and he's always wanting me to call them and get together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Sounds like my husband. Never drinks ever. Unless it is the mayor's parties. People really get messed up. I just sit and people watch that experience. Alcohol takes you to another level that is not always a good place. Then god forbid the hubby leaves the room, not good either. In a way, it is better that your husband does not have that drinking habit. It messes your body and health. It can cause you to black out and you're like what just happened? In business alcohol is used to make people disclose information about the company, the workers and just a brownosing ploy. It works that is why bosses and staff will drink with people from work. Male or female. Don;t take it personal.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.