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Should I let my 2 year old cry it out when I put her to bed?

I just switched my 2 year old to her big girl bed. She keeps getting out, wanting to sleep with us, banging on her door. We gave in first two nights because we both had to work early in the morning. Tonight I took her up to her room, read her stories, tucked her in, gave special animals and she started crying second I got out of room. She screams really loud and it breaks my heart hear her like that but I feel like I've done all that I can to make her feel cozy and secure and should cry it out some.

How long should I let her cry before going back in?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Jul. 28, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • Talk with her and let her know that you still in the house in your room...Put one of her cd on..Its goin tobe hard but dont go back into her room..stand to the side of the door and peep in if you can to make sure she is ok...It willget better...Best of luck
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 10:57 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • maybe you should try putting her bed in your room n after she gets used to it move her back to her own room =/
    13liz13

    Answer by 13liz13 at 10:58 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • 2 hours?

    I think this is definitely a time when "tough love" needs to be asserted. She's testing you and since you failed the first two nights, she expects you to continue to fail. Show her that you won't fail again and she'll eventually get the picture.

    My DD (she's 4) will still ask if she can sleep in our room...which is interesting in and of itself because she has fallen asleep in our room at night...and we tell her that she can come in our room when the sun comes up. That's what we tell her, but our little rule is that she has to fall asleep in her own room. 99% of the time, we wake up with her either sleeping on our bed or somewhere on the floor in our bedroom.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:58 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • i let my cry it out till he was asleep then i picked him up off the floor put him in his bed gave him kisses and he was fine. crying sucks but make sure there is nothing in there the child can hurt its self on and just let them work it out. your not doing anything wrong by lettin' em cry
    MoMoFu

    Answer by MoMoFu at 10:59 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • she's 2, do about 13-15 minutes. then go in, lay her down, tell her it's bedtime, give her a kiss then leave. the second time, lay her down, just give her a kiss and leave. it's kinda like the ferber method all over again, only since she's older you can let her cry longer than she was when she was younger. remember it will ONLY work if she's TIRED. if she's not tired, she won't go to sleep.

    OR

    sit with her until she's asleep. sit next to the bed, each night sit a little farther away until you're either not in there or sitting outside the door. after about 2-3 nights of this, leave when she's about to fall asleep, not after. this way she gets used to falling asleep without you in there.

    after she's used to the bed, you can put a small toybox in her room. this way, she can get up and play quietly, then when she's tired she can crawl into bed herself and go to sleep. i did both. 1st with ds, 2nd with dd, both had toys
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 11:00 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Let her cry it out. She is definately testing u , she thinks and knows if she does this and throws fits you'll go into the room, don't go in unless she pitches such a fit that she vomits on herself or u think she has poo poo or is sick. I have a 2 year old too and he always cries when its bed time, sometimes I feel sorry for him and other times I don't I just think like it or not its bed time. Be firm and she will know that she can't push your buttons and manipulate u to get her way. I know it is hard to hear them cry, but i don't go into his room at nap time unless after he is asleep I'll go in usually to make sure he didn't poo while he was sleeping so I can change him so he doesn't get a rash. My two year old is still in his crib though, but be firm BEDTIME is bedtime, set up a schedule the same time every night books, brush teeth night clothes and sing and then bed, thats pretty much how we do it.
    newmom179

    Answer by newmom179 at 11:06 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • i had to do the second option with dd because if i did the first option with her, she would have woke my ds up, and then i'd have 2 crabby kids on my hands. I had to keep her quiet, but somehow get her to sleep on her own in her own bed. if you have 1 kid, the first option is great. if you have 2, and don't want to wake the other up, the second option is best.

    as for the toy box, she may play with the toys for a lil bit then cry for you when she's tired and won't want to climb in her own bed. just go in there and lay her down, give her kiss and leave. she may cry again but if she truely is tired enough, she'll fall asleep. the toy box always works wonders for the morning. i always have my kids doors closed (i'd have ds's open to let some light in, a night light wouldn't work for him) but i'd close it before i went to bed, when they woke up, they'd quietly play with their toys, giving me time to wake up myself lol. GL!
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 11:07 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Out of curiosity, why did you take away her crib? Was she ready for a big girl bed? It doesn't sound like she was. Unless there's a specific reason why you made the switch (eg, she is climbing out of the crib), why not let her sleep in her comfortable and familiar crib again?

    It doesn't sound like she is "testing" you...it sounds like she doesn't feel secure in a bed just yet...JMO.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:17 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • To Fallaya's question, she is almost 3 and was climbing out of the crib constantly. When we set her big girl bed up she was really excited , and now that I think about it, she has napped for the nanny just fine while I was at work.

    So bedtime for me and dad it'ss a whole different story.

    mamamia38

    Answer by mamamia38 at 11:35 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

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