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My mother in law... dont be rude

Towards the end of my pregnancy my fiance lost his job for missing too many days for my appts. He has reacently started a new one but until we can get on our feet were staying with his mom. He also has a 18 year old brother who lives at home. I hate it here!! His moms always taking her anger form her fights with his lil brother out on everyone else! && if she over hears me && my SO fighting she gets mad and then doesnt speak to me or my daughter like she needs to fight her 20 year old sons battles or somethin. Then this week she pushed it. when he started his job she said she wanted us to start helpin pay bills knowing were trying to get out of here asap i could understand 100 dollars every two weeks, but hole bills??. in the mean time her youngest son sleeps til 2 maybe 3 pm then gets up and drinks infront of her with his friends almost every night!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • ok willl i am sorry u have a rude mil! i love mine! but right now we been living with my mom cause she needed help and so did we we split everything all the bills... i thinks it rude that u dont want to help out i work 9 hr shift take care of our dd i breastfeed clean the house do all the chores and pay all the bills out of my checks to help my mom out! she letting us live there it the least i can do!!!!!! and my hubby check goes towards all the baby stuff and extras.

    Answer by Britt12-06 at 10:05 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • but thats the point i do help out i do all our laundry i do dishes vacum dust feed the cats and she leaves notes all the time for me to do things to help her around the house and i dont complain about that. but i dont agree with the fact that i raise my daughter do her house work and do the nessesary for myself && she still wants money while we put ffod in the house cook dinner and play her youngest sons taxi while shes at the gym and out!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • here's what I think.... if you are broke and you HAVE to go stay with family; certainly you can help out (around the house, pay the water bill, help with laundry, kick in on elect, etc.) But when the family that supposed to be helping you out starts taking ALL of your money, how do they expect that you're ever going to get back on your feet. If she is starving your wallet then she's making it impossible for you to get out of her house. My grown sons live with me; they are just as responsible for bills as I - because they have no plans of moving out any time soon & I'm not going to have them sponging - now if they were planning to move out - they need their money to do that & they should/would be cut a huge break to help make that possible for them. Our situation is different, but should it not be - it is I who should make exceptions to see that they can help themselves. That's a mother's responsibility.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 10:14 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • i can understand. seems like a dual standard with the boys. i'll never be able to live with my mil so kudos for doing that so far. i agree that you should move out. helping out is a good thing, depends on who asked who to move in. if she asked, you are under no obligation.

    Answer by imanixon2 at 10:15 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • My mother n law is a little crazy but i bite my lip. I definately couldn't live with her. I think if you all went over there with the understanding that you were to get on your feet then i don't see why she wouldn't want to help you out. On the other hand, if you didn't have that agreement then asking for a little bit of help wouldn't be a big deal. I just wouldn't pay full bills. We lived with my parents for almost 4 months and the 3 of us were there the whole time(without jobs). We were waiting for our new place to come available (in another town) and trying to save up money. Not only did my parents pay for everything but they were upset that we wouldn't let them pay for more (like walmart items, restarant stuff ....). Parents are all differnt and they have differnt financial situations. If it would have been my inlaws then we would have had to help with bills (but not pay full bills).

    Answer by kinzleysmommy at 10:23 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I lived with my mi twice! It seemed like all she wanted to do was clean and tell me how to raise my daughter I finally had enough and told my husband if he didn't take care of her I would put her in her place. We paid all there bills and I cooked and did laundry while my SI lived with them too and did nothing. I was expacted to all her chored for living there and when we moved out boy I have a much better relationship but still you are trying your best and your husband needs to be a man and stand up to mommy deariest! GOOD LUCK

    Answer by Beccah2 at 11:17 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • See thats how it is here my BIL just sits on his butt and does what he wants. if their mom does leave a note for him which is very very unlikely my fiance ends up doin whatever the note says or it doesnt get done at all and she says NOTHING but nope my note goes undone an the firrst thing she says this house doesnt look clean to me or why didnt those dishes get done,

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Maybe you should check out apts where rent goes by your income. Some are very nice.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:39 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Like I said before tell your fic. that you have had enough you are not her child and he neds to get a back bone or S*** is giong to hitthe fan in that house. Again his mom his problem and stress that point!!!!!!!Good Luck

    Answer by Beccah2 at 11:40 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

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