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Has anyone ever told you they saw your teen doing something you told them not to?

I asked my DD, just turned 16 not to sit in the back of the movie theater....found out from a friend that she sat in the back w/bf and didn't watch the movie if you know what I mean. It was probably some serious making out, I don't know what more...I don't know how to address this. Should I tell her someone told me they saw her? I know a lot of people in this town!! I dare say she will be getting a reputation in our little town. How would you address this? Thank you.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (4)
  • You've asked quite a few questions about this already haven't you? And about them watching a movie in the bf's room. I think you need to stop going to people you don't know for advice. Work on your relationship with your daughter and stop giving a flip what other people will think. This isn't about your reputation, her reputation.... Focus on opening lines of communication and focus solely on her needs.

    Answer by jreneei at 8:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I would certainly tell her what I had heard, and I would also tell her that it would be a very long time before she had an opportunity to repeat such behavior. It is your job as her mother to protect her reputation, as well as your own. She is 16 and still a child of yours. She has just proven to you that she does not have the moral maturity to be trusted out without you in attendance, and she should not be given another opportunity to get herself in to even more trouble. She is your child and while she may cease to think of you as her very best friend, you still need to act as her mother. Tell her that from now on, she will do all of her "entertaining" at your hosue, in full view of the entire family. You don't ever have to tell her who told you. That part is really none of her business. It is the fact that she did not do what you told her to do that makes this a very serious offence. So set the rules and enforce them!

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:07 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I couldn't have said it better NannyB!! It is time to have a serious conversation with her about what you expect of her now that she is "dating", and yes I would tell her that someone saw her, I wouldn't tell her who. And then I would tell her that is why she isn't going to the movies for a while.
    I do also agree with jreneei, too, you know what you have to do, I think you just don't want to do it because it will upset your dd. I have been there too, 16 she is not making wise choices and if she can't be trusted to do what you have told her than she watches movies at home. PERIOD. No one likes being that mom but when your kid isn't getting it, step up and do it.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 10:50 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • this sorta thing happened to me with my first bf and might i add he was older and he sorta forced himself on me in public and someone my dad knew saw..but what they failed to report back was that i was fighting him off but he was stronger than me...look just talk to your dd and tell her its not appropriate to act that way and you dont want her to get a bad name..teens are young and they are going to pull stunts...theres no telling what my parents heard on me...just tell her and let her know you expect more from her as a person and as your daughter...

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 10:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

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