Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I don't know if I should stay with my boyfriend and marry him or leave him

My boyfriend and I have been together ever since he was 16 and I was 17 and 2 years ago we broke up for a year because of how he was, manipulative, we'd argue a lot about things that were completely unnecessary and stupid. He doesn't like how I am, loud, a bitch sometimes, physically abusive towards him when he really makes me mad, raising my voice when it's not needed. A few months ago we got into a fight and he went to work while I was at home and upset so I called up my guy friend and asked him if we could just go out to a bar and just sit and talk. I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore and to speed things up we're still together but sometimes he's always bringing up things about my guy friend and me doing things together or sleeping with each other even tho he has a girlfriend but my boyfriend says it doesn't matter, he can always cheat and my bf thinks I'm going to cheat someday when I've never cheated on him.

Answer Question
 
Etsuna

Asked by Etsuna at 9:40 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You guys have too many issues to marry right now.

    Just your question alone tells me you two are not ready. The question "should I leave him, or marry him" is not the question you should be asking when you are COMPLETELY ready to be married.

    You wouldnt and shouldnt be considering leaving him if you were going to marry him.

    does that make sense?
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:42 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Um leave. This is a no brain are very toxic for each other.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 9:42 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • sounds horrible! break it off before more wasted time goes by.... you should both be completey in love with one another and happy for the most part go get married
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 9:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It doesn't really sound like you are very happy if one is manipulative, one is abusive, and there's a lack of trust. When you step back and think about it does that sound like a healthy relationship to you? Good relationships are not filled with all of that. Is he the only one you have ever dated? Maybe it would help if you took a break from each other right now. You both deserve to be happy.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:47 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I don't know how old you are but you seem too young to tie yourself down right now. I think you have many more years to decide who & when you will marry. I don't think that this is the guy for you and there seems to be some immaturity going on here. I don't mean to be insulting at all and I apologize if it seems that way but I think you should really focus on your career, maybe furthering education like college and be your own person before you commit to a life long endeavor like marriage. You have a great life ahead of you so why settle now? Good luck and don't rush into anything. If it doesn't work while you are dating, it won't work while married. People do not change EVER.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:49 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I'm 21 now and he's 20 =O
    Etsuna

    Comment by Etsuna (original poster) at 9:51 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It sounds like there are alot of issues on both of your parts, and that the relationship is not a good one. I think the only way to maybe salvage it would be if BOTH of you were willing to work on it and if BOTH of you attended counseling. And even then the relationship may never be a very good or healthy one. I think your best bet though would be to leave him.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:52 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You stated that you're physically abusive towards him? That's really not okay, you do realize that, right?
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:08 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • If you even have to ask there is your answer.
    dragonlady44

    Answer by dragonlady44 at 10:12 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Neither of you are mature enough for marriage or parenthood.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 10:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN