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how would you respond to this?

I've always been a little jealous of my sisters baby. She came out of the womb sleeping 6 hours plus at a time and started sleeping through the night at 2 months old. I've had a losing battle getting my Dd to take naps, getting her to sleep through the night. And I was working... so I just stuck her in bed with me from pure exhaustion.
My sister (a different one) has been watching my niece right after spending a month at my home and just told me that my Dd is just spoiled and that's why she doesn't sleep at night.
That if I just stuck her in her crib and said good night every night the same way, that she would sleep just fine, and that's she just being spoiled wanting to sleep with me and I shouldn't put up with it.
My niece is formula fed, my Dd is breastfed. She won't take naps or go to bed without breastmilk (she will, but it's a huge struggle to get her to sleep)



Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I think you should listen to your baby and your own instincts and ignore your sisters. Your baby needs different things than your niece and your sisters don't understand that. I would especially not listen to someone who wasn't a parent, bc they usually know more about ideas and theories and they have no experience. She's not spoiled, she needs you.

    Answer by lovepotato at 12:02 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You should enjoy it!! Your baby needs you more and that's not a bad thing. All babies are different.
    I breastfed my 2 boys and the older started sleeping through the night at 5 months, the younger one, only at 13/14 months, before that I was still waking up a couple of times at night and a lot of times he would sleep with us (with the first one I wouldn't do that because he was supposed to be in his crib, we didn't want to spoil him, bla, bla...). But you know what? It goes too fast!!!! So do what you feel is right and enjoy it!!

    Answer by LauraGug at 11:49 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Personally, I will breastfeed, co-sleep and wear my child. So, I suppose mine will be "spoiled" too. Oh well. You be a good mom and they can all stuff it. Besides, Does the one sister have kids? And the other sister;s next kid won't sleep until age three and probably have colic. LOL

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:00 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I think your sister needs to realize that you are both parenting the way you want to and that is just fine.

    Answer by canthaveboys1 at 10:00 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Well, my Dd has been teething straight since 6 months old. She has tons of teeth, and every time she's teething, she cries and cries and is in a lot of pain. This little girl is almost ten months and has only two teeth.
    I think all my problems with getting Dd to sleep and getting her into a normal schedule stem from my lack of sticking to a nighttime routine due to it failing miserably because she's either or teething or growing within a month of me starting something new.
    I feel like I failed at parenting already! How could she just so easily write off my problems with my child by saying that she's just spoiled! It upsets me so much! I love my Dd and when she's not teething and not going through a growth spurt, she's really easy to put down.... but there are so many days when she's just in pain or super hungry that when I put her down, she just cries!


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I'm assuming that sister doesn't have kids? tell her to just wait...she'll have what's coming to her lol

    Answer by armywife43 at 10:03 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • And you are doing the right thing by responding and soothing. No need to make it a hassle and force her to conform to you when all she needs is love from mommy.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:03 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yeah, she doesn't have children. But it still upsets me because my sister who does have kids, said pretty much the same thing... I don't think she realizes how rare a child that sleeps through the night at 2 months is... and how it doesn't mean that she's a super great mom, it just depends on the child! Ugh. I live away from my family (another country). And my sister has had so much family support, and it's just been me and my Dh raising my Dd alone... we had no experience.. and are doing the best we can.. why do they have to make me feel like shit when i asked a simple question... I was just asking for tips on how they put their kids to sleep because she's babysitting right now, and she made it seem so easy....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:07 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • All children are different. Your next one, if there is one might be as easy as the sister's and her next might have just one example. Try not to be jealous and tell them all babies are different. It would help, though, if you had a set routine when it's time to sleep so your child has those cues to prepare her to sleep. Do the same thing every time.....diaper change, music, soothing, whatever you want your routine to be. You have not failed!! Pat yourself on the back for being a caring, loving, mom.

    Answer by elizabr at 10:12 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I think you almost would be better off asking for advice here on these forums. They don't sound like people I would ask advice of. Sorry, you have to deal with that.

    I will say, My son slept with me. When I went to bed, he went too. We slept fine for a long time. He moved out when he was ready and he is the most well adjusted, mature kid I know. And super smart. There were no ill effects from his being "spoiled". LOL I say you are doing just fine.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:14 AM on Jul. 29, 2010