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2 Bumps

ughh, my son is turning into a BRAT!!

my almost 4yr old son has really been testing me lately, and it's getting on my nerves! he won't listen at all! or it takes me 5 times to tell him something before he does it. and now he has a "smart ass" answer for things.. for example i say "cameron, if your not gonna listen to me, then im turning the game off" so he says "ill turn it back on then"...i don't understand why he's acting out like this. HELP!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • send him to daycare an let him be around other children an see if he is still a brat when he comes home. or just give him a big hug an kiss next time he acts out an see how he reacts to that.
    queeny2

    Answer by queeny2 at 10:40 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • My daughter is doing the same thing, im going to follow your post and see what others say... i wish i had some advice for you darling
    Mrs.Koukas2006

    Answer by Mrs.Koukas2006 at 10:40 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I'd make sure to follow through on consequences of not listening. Make your request. If he doesn't do it, ask again and explain the consequences of not doing it. If you get an answer like you described, explain the consequence of that (i.e. if you turn the game back on, it's gone for the day). I'd make sure to follow through on what you say. With my 3 yr old, I ask him to do something once. If he doesn't do it, I go to him, get his attention and get him him moving on what he was suppose to do. He's then warned on what will happen if he continues to ignore me. If he still doesn't do it, I do whatever I said I was going to do. It isn't a perfect system but it seems to help. Making sure I have his attention seems to make a difference.
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 11:09 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Well im happy to know that my soon to be 4yr old son isnt abnormal. Sometimes i have to shut myself in a closet and give a nice long scream or say a dozen bad words because he has pushed me to my appsolute limit. And the worst part is my 20mth old daughter is now picking up his splended attitude. So iv now got TWO brats on my hands AND im a single mom of these two plus a 10wk old. Iv tryed EVERYTHING. Not one works for more then a few days. My mom says it just a faze... Im not sure i will make it through this one. I too will fallow this post and cross my fingers for help before my son gets put in bootcamp at 4yrs old!
    Keaton_Hazel

    Answer by Keaton_Hazel at 8:39 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Why is he doing this? He's 4 and it's a developmental milestone. Yay. Bleck. Both mine went through this. It gets better and then a new phase hits. My 8-year old is into debating everything and anything. Ugh. I swear he should just sign up for law school now.
    Anyway, don't ask 5 times. Establish house rules before there is a problem. Amend as necessary. My two are told they get a warning because we're not perfect and sometimes we forget the rules. It's one warning that comes with a heads up on consequence. "Logan, please stop [pick misbehavior here.] The house rule is [restate the rule.] If you continue to break the rule then [natural consequence to breaking it as previously established.]" If he were to mouth off in response, then I lead him to his room - sometimes its more like dragging - where I deposit him on his bed and tell him not to move until I come back. Be firm. Be consistant. (cont next box)
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 6:37 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • But also pick your battles. Preschoolers are grow into this spot of being wholly aware of the fact that they control very little in their own lives and they want to seize the power. ;) They test limits. They push back. They are trying to get some measure of control for their own. Give him some. Find areas you can give him control over. make sure everything you're pushing back on is really worth pushing back on at this time. In things you can't budge on, find some aspect of it you can give him control over. For example, we have a firm bed time. The kids, however, get to pick whether they get a bath or shower, which bathroom they use for that, what PJs they're going to wear, whether DH or I are reading with them for a bit, what "quiet" activity they're doing the 1/2 hr before bed and what the actual tuck-in routine consists of. However, *we* control what time it all happens. They feel in control but we contorl the big stuff.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 6:47 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • My DS turned 4 in April....he is doing the same thing. I thought we were over it but we just hit it head on again last week. At least I know it's a phase and he will grow out of it. Just worried what will be next! Good luck!!
    BuckeyeTinyTots

    Answer by BuckeyeTinyTots at 11:39 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • It is his job to push the envelope and your job to set the limits. If he gets sassy like that, then and there turn it off and put it out of reach. Sit him in time out until he gets that you will not be walked on. Be firm, it is exhausting as they push and push but you will get there as long as you are consistant.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:06 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I agree. You must be consistent. I don't remember this phase with my 7. You say you are a single mom. Is the father in his life? Naybe he needs to take a bigger role in the lives of your children.If he can't or won't maybe an uncle or grandpa? As a last resort I'd call The Nanny!LOL
    zoolady12

    Answer by zoolady12 at 1:09 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Try to put a positive spin on things. My son is going to be 4 in December and tries that crap on me but instead of getting frustrated, I stop, take a deep breath and think "How can I make this fun?"

    My son LOVES to race me so I'll say "I bet I can pick up these cars before you can." and before I finish my sentence he's dropping cars into the bin. He also likes to see if he can get things done before I count to 10 or 20 or whatever. And he finds it especially funny if I say "Can you pick these books up before I count to 10? And I'm going to count really really fast!"

    Kids THRIVE on organization. Make a chore chart for him and get tons of stickers. If he goes an entire week completing all of his chores (filling in all of the stickers) then get him a happy meal or a hot wheels car or a book.

    (cont.)
    EwansMommy

    Answer by EwansMommy at 9:03 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

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