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8 Bumps

I see so many posts and questions about MIL's and how horrible they are and even a few posts/questions about how horrible the posters own mother is adult content

this saddens me and breaks my heart for i have no mother... nor have i ever met my mil to even get a chance to bitch about her, my dd has no grandparents to spoil her and i have no mother or mil to bitch about
take a moment to be thankful for all of these mothers for if it weren't for them you or your dh/so would not be here or not be the person they are today.. because no matter how their mothers were, it shaped who their children become today.. just like we are shaping who our children become tomorrow

and how sad and broken hearted would i be if my dd grew up to speak of me in that manner or worse the person my child chose to be with treated me that way

i know we all need to vent and some MIL's are not very nice and my mom and i did not always get along but at the end of the day i still loved her and was thankful for all that she gave me and given up for me....

as much as some need to vent about mils i needed to say this

Answer Question

Asked by chiana at 10:44 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (671 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • My mom was/is abusive physically and mentally and emotionally and verbally. Yeah, I would almost prefer to not have her at all.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:47 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I was very lucky to have a wonderful mother and mother-in-law but the sad reality is that there are a lot of moms and MIL's who deserve the disrespect.


    Answer by beeky at 10:49 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • My MIL is fine (minus a few minor annoyances that everyone offers!). : )

    I was just wondering though, do you feel this way about everyone in your life? Do you vent about your kids? SO? Friends?

    I just don't think it's completely fair to say they aren't being thankful or appreciative. Since it's the internet I assume most women are having a moment and have no other release. That's just my opinion though! : )

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 10:49 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • BRAVO! i see this all the time, and its sickening that so many people have no love for their mothers/MIL/other family members. having no relationship is a little more understandable, but no love?
    maybe because i grew up without g-parents (all died before i was even 3), but i welcome anything my ds gets from his g-parents. even if its meddling, because i know they only mean well and have good intentions..not to mention tons more experience than i do. it doesn't mean i can't make up my own mind about my child; their input doesn't hurt, though.
    i see moms who speak so nastily of their families on CM that i have to wonder what kind of influence they are having on their own child(ren), and how those children will speak of their mothers!

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:53 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Let me repeat
    "i know we all need to vent and some MIL's are not very nice and my mom and i did not always get along but at the end of the day i still loved her and was thankful for all that she gave me and given up for me....

    as much as some need to vent about mils i needed to say this"

    and you will see my rants and raves and vents about my DH!!! and yes we ALL need to vent and rave about whatever is bothering us so we can go on about our lives!! and at cafemom we should be able to bitch about our MILS or whatever BUT i should be able to voice my opinion as well
    no matter if you agree or disagree
    or if this is a popular opinion or not


    Comment by chiana (original poster) at 11:00 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • i love my mom and never bitch about her. any time i have a problem with her i tell her. i can't imagin not having my mom around. she helps me out everyday and with her i know that i have someone who will do anything for me and my kids.

    on the other hand, my MIL can be a horrible person. i would have not fallen in love with my DH if i had met him before he was in the army. i belive it was the army that made him a good man. i have heard many stories about my dh before he joined the army and that person i wouldn't have even been willing to date. and she isn't a good grandma either. she very clearly put my brother in law's kids above my husbands she buys my brother in laws kids very exspensive stuff and will bend over backwards to do anything for them. on the other hand she can't be bothered to give our kids a birthday card.

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 11:01 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • while both me and dh still have our mothers they choose not to be in our children's lives since the idea they have of themselves does not jive with admitting they have grown children much less grand children. So what's sadder, telling your child sorry you have no grandma she passed away but is watching you from heaven or to have to tell them, sorry grandma is too drunk/stoned and doesn't want to see you

    Answer by gonefishin at 11:02 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Well my MIL is very disrespectful and has been to me for years. She is nasty and cruel and goes out of her way to cause drama and tears. She is the same way to her son (my hubby) I don't get on here and bash her but I wold certaintly like too. Respect is earned and love has to have somewhere to grow. I won't cuss her out or anything but I can choose not to make that person a part of my families life if they choose to act in that manner.

    Answer by maggiebella25 at 11:08 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Your situation sounds very sad and I'm sorry for that. But you have to understand others are entitled to their feelings. Some truly horrible things are done by some MIL's who just have to be the only woman in their son's life and I find that to be unbelievably disturbing. I've read and seen some very awful things like an MIL being informed of her DIL's pregnancy screaming "how could you do that to me?" or trying to get her son to divorce his wife because she does not do everything they way the MIL thinks she should. That is the tip of the iceberg for some. It's hard to love a woman who hates you enough to try to destroy your marriage or who tries to take over with your own children because she can't wrap her head around the fact that her son is a grown man. It's not right to judge other people dealing with horrible daily lives because you have the opposite of the situation.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:09 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • i agree with you! ive always found it funny that on a site called cafemom, so many people hate there own mother.
    me and my mother are best friends. we do everything together, we live 5 minutes from eachother, and she is an amazing grandmother.
    however, i hate my mother in law, and all of the bad qualities my SO has, are because of her. she also could care less about me or her grandson.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:43 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

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