Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Just looking for a good response to an overwhelmingly bossy person...

Whenever she comes over she tells me how I should do something and what I should have done. I would say the average time I hear each statement is about 3-4 times a visit. I just smile and say, "uh huh" while she blabbers away.

For the most part I can handle it but I'm sure you ladies know there are just some days that things sting a little more.

I was wondering if there is some kind of polite response I can say to get my point across when I'm told, "you should decorate like this," or "you need to teach your kids this." It just gets to be too much sometimes and when I feel like that I don't even have her over because I can emotionally not handle it!

Thanks in advance! : )

Answer Question
 
Sara.Robyson

Asked by Sara.Robyson at 10:56 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,854 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • "Thank you very much for your suggestions and input. I will be sure to consider them." That's all you need to say.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:58 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • you could say, "thanks for the advice. I'll take that in to consideration, but for right now I think I have it undercontrol."
    lovemybaby283

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:59 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I would tell her "To each their own", "everyone has different tastes", "a certain parenting style that works for one person, may not work for the other", or other similar statements. Good luck:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:59 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • why does she have such power over you? pull the plug, OP! i'm not saying you have to defriend her, but start standing up for your choices/statements/etc. she's probably used to you saying 'uh huh' and may not even realize how irritated you are. next time she says something negative, let her know why you disagree. you don't have to be nasty..just truthful. maybe she's so used to the one-sided conversation, she'll shut up for a while..when you find your voice.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:00 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • If they commented on my decorating, I would simply say, "You know I am glad you like things like that, but I like them the way they are." My kids, "You know I admire the way you are with your kids, but I have to handle them my way."
    For every thing they come up with, if you continue to thank them, but let them know that you intend to handle it your way, they will honestly probably stop offering suggestions!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I would say, "Thank's I have it under control, but I will let you know if I need any help." Then smile! That will get the point across. GL
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 11:01 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Okay, I'll let this piece of info out (if you haven't guessed)... : ) It is indeed my MIL.

    It's just funny because if it were a friend we would have cut ties a long time ago. I have never met a person to start to many sentences with, "you should..." or "what you should have done is..."

    She doesn't listen! That is an even bigger problem because I have said to her (over the dumbest small things mind you), "No, I decided to do it like this," and she still doesn't get it.

    Ugh! Sorry, ladies!
    Sara.Robyson

    Comment by Sara.Robyson (original poster) at 11:05 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • That would annoy me to the point I couldn't be friends with someone like that. But I would nicely tell her, thank you for your advice but I like it this way, after all everyone is different. Smile than go on about your business.
    lil_Army_Wife05

    Answer by lil_Army_Wife05 at 11:05 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I didn't want to get bashed for "attacking" my MIL.
    Sara.Robyson

    Comment by Sara.Robyson (original poster) at 11:05 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • you wouldn't be attacking your MIL..just disagreeing with her! no harm, no foul! lol.

    has your dh noticed this, or is he aware that she causes such distress to you? if not, you should talk to him about it, too....you know the minute you piss her off (she's likely to get 'miffed'), she's gonna call him, right? he should stand with you..no one, even momma, should be allowed to disrespect his wife.
    good luck!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:09 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN