Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My DD and her grandma's pool...

My DD's grandma has some disease call perforia (not sure on the spelling) but she takes a lot of medication and won't sleep for days... 5 days of the week, she is loopy and will nod off or even fall asleep standing up. It's almost impossible to plan anythng with her because you never know how her health will be. I have tried talking to her about it but she deny's there is anything wrong with her. Well, they have big house with a big pool and theres no fence around it. She wants my DD to stay the night and i've been making up excuses and putting it off for months. She says there is a lock high up on the door that my DD can't reach. I am worried that grandma will nod off and forget to lock it or not be able to take care of my DD, so I don't let her stay the night. How do I explain this to grandma, last time I tried, she flipped out and threatened me with grand parents rights, which she doesn't have legally yet...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • No one can force you to give them rights to see your DD.If you don't want her over there without you or your SO,stand your ground and say no.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:43 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Stick to your guns! If it makes you, the parent, uncomfortable then don't worry about pissing off your grandmother. She is not listening to your concerns in a sensible manner, she is using her emotions to make that kind of a decision and that can be very dangerous.

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 11:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • are there grandparenting rights in your state? not all states have them. if her health is as you say, then her grandparenting rights, if ever granted would be supervised.
    is there any way you could suggest a sleepover with you too?
    if not, then i would have to say let your husband ( i am guessing it is his mom) be totally honest with her.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 11:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • yup i agree again! your are her momma and you make the rules. if you fear your daughters safety then nothing is worth the risk. stick to your guns. she is your baby. you are doing the right thing! good job momma!
    Preggydyke

    Answer by Preggydyke at 11:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • In most states she is NOT entitled to grandparents rights. If you do no feel she is safe, and she is OBVIOUSLY irrational, then stand your ground. Simple as that.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:47 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • No court would require you to allow an overnight stay with her porphyria and no fence around the pool.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 11:51 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Most states don't recognize grandparents rights unless their child (parent of the minor child) is dead and the spouse of the decease refuses to even let them see the child. What you are doing is protecting your daughter from a potentially deadly situation. Stick to your guns unless there is someone else there who can be responsible.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:29 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • don't worry about the grandparents rights thing - there are a million reasons why not... just don't. she's just upset. it must be hard to admit that you have so little control over yourself. why don't you or her dad go sleep over with her... or hire a babysitter and tell grandma it's your DD's older friend (there are older girls who befriend little girls because they like acting like older sisters) and it's fine as long as the friend goes...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.