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when will he marry me?

okay! so i have been with my bf for four years;we have two kids together'& he asked me to marry him,but then never mentioned anything about it again,& everytime i bring it up he says not now,that we dont have enough money..etc..or we just end up gettin mad at each other,i am really confused bout him wantin to marry me or not..?

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lovely163

Asked by lovely163 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Entertainment

Level 5 (86 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Maybe he is not ready for marriage. I can say from experience, if both parties are not 100 percent ready for marriage, the marriage will not last long. My ex husband and I rushed into marriage shortly after I turned 18, because we had a child together, and wanted to do the right thing. We thought we were ready. We weren't. Two years later, we were divorced. Don't rush marriage hun. It is a very serious step to take in life.. and you want to make sure you are both at the point where you are ready.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 12:00 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It doesn't cost much money to get a marriage license and stand in front of a judge. You can always have a big celebration later on when you can afford it, assuming that is something you would want to do. As for when and why... Sounds like he might be a little afraid of commitment even though you have kids together. He could be one of those men that feel once they are married, "other options" no longer exist and that could make him very nervous. No matter, I would be very upset with him, there should be no reason to wait. Good luck:)

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 12:03 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • but what i dont understand is why?its like how can he not be ready if we live togethger & pretty much r married??....
    lovely163

    Comment by lovely163 (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • & yes i am very upset about it,& it makes us fight a lot!
    lovely163

    Comment by lovely163 (original poster) at 12:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • he might be concerned about being able to financially support his family properly. hard to know. but i would tell him that a justice of the peace marriage costs litle and being married is priceless
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 12:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • just take your time....i NEVER got marired to my ex but we were planning on it and it would have been for all the wrong reasons JUST take your time and he will ask when he is rdy to ask you. but that is just my take on it.
    MommyOf2kids67

    Answer by MommyOf2kids67 at 12:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • plan to go out to dinner with him...just you and him. see if something can watch the kids for you and then talk to him about it over dinner...make it a light conversation...dont get mad at him right away just tell him what you were thinking...ask him if he wants to have a big wedding or just go to a JP and then have a big party after. Honestly if you guys are living together and have a great family dont rush the marriage thing....I know its every girls dream to be married but if things are working out great right now just sit back and wait.....
    branmomma32

    Answer by branmomma32 at 12:08 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I understand that you live together and have children together, but marriage is a very serious union between two people. It should never be taken lightly. It is more than just a piece of paper to most. Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment... and if it is rushed, then it will more than likely fail. Just wait until he is ready, and everything will fall into place. I am sure he loves you... He is probably just not personally ready. Talk to him calmly and openly about the issue and see what he says. Don't argue about it, and don't try to force him into marriage.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 12:08 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It does seem like women are ready before the men. However I would take some time, when ever it is easiest to talk. Tell him in your most conciliatory tone "I would love to be married--it confuses me when you brush me off can we talk about this?"
    Don't get angry, do not get mean. Get honest tell him your dreams, your fears, your truth.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You say you are fighting a lot. This may be ringing a warning bell for him. If you two are fighting now, does he really want to feel tied down to you. I'd probably bring up about getting a license and standing in front of a judge and making it legal- doesn't cost much, doesn't take time. But then better let it go. If the fighting is turning him off, then continuing about it isn't going to help anything. It would probably be a good idea, if you aren't already, for you to get job training and make sure that you can support yourself and your children if needed.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

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