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How to handle crying and screaming??

My kids, boy 6 girl 4, are driving me crazy lately. I wouldn't say they are spoiled, they don't throw fits for material things but anything else is a battle. They fight a lot, my boy wants to leave out my girl, tells her to do things that he knows is against the rules, tells me no he's not going to do something, tells me "it better be...(whatever he wants at the time)" .
She cries ALL the time over everything (ex. if I tell her to wait just a minute). She just cries all the time really, to ask for a drink if she waited longer than she desires, if my son want let her play.
All I want is for them to use their words. I tell them that when they are screaming and it works for that moment until something else comes up. It makes my day a lot harder than it should. I've tried splitting them up, time out, spanking, taking things away. How do I handle this? Please help me save my sanity!!!

Answer Question
 
Rae-Rae05

Asked by Rae-Rae05 at 1:02 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My only suggestion is to ignore them until they talk to you right. They are too old to be screaming and crying for everything. I would "go on strike" until nicer, friendly words and attitudes were used.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 1:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yeah i agree with Cindy18...try positive reinforcement too, during those rare times they do something good...praise them! Maybe to individual time with each of them everyday? Something quick and simple like, read a book, let one of them help with one meal and the other another meal? It's hard, I know, good luck lady!
    MamaHiD

    Answer by MamaHiD at 1:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • i woudl stop giving them negative reinforcement. ignore the behaviours you dont like. seperate them if they are fighting too much and put them in corners. you can only really make this stop by being consistant with them about it and doing extinction on some of it. by ignoring it completely
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I start screaming back, then i burst into tears. Works like a charm. ( of course my kids think im going crazy) (Hahahahaha!!)
    Funnybunnies

    Answer by Funnybunnies at 1:33 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I am just coming into this, but right now what I am doing is putting them bother in their rooms and walking away. I figured if I know they are safe they will learn that the tantrums won't get them anywhere and it helps me keep my sanity.
    mommy2each

    Answer by mommy2each at 1:38 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I saw something once on a super nanny episode that was a very good idea and worked to help overcome the sibling rivalry. Joe Frost (supernanny) came up with a game that used everyday common household items. You had to describe what the object was and then let the kids work together to try to find it and figure out what it was. It was a great way to allow the kids to work as a team and then once they were successful in that you could lavish on the praise. Just one idea I thought that could help. Also...if you EVER see them do something nice for the other like a loving gesture, or sharing, or anything thoughtful, praise, praise, PRAISE them for the good behavior. You could even ask them to do something for the other...like when you go shopping, say you wanna have each pick a simple gift out for the other(within budget range) and then praise them for their thoughtful choice. Good luck with the positive reinforcements:)
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 1:38 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Sorry if this sounds harsh, but stop giving into what they want just because they decide to show their butt a little! If they are crying for something they want tell them you can't understand them when they whine, cry, scream, etc. and then ignore them until they talk normal. If you see them playing nicely compliment them on it and if they are fighting separate them. Good Luck!! :)
    mommabh3

    Answer by mommabh3 at 10:03 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

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