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Where to move...

I have a 4 yr old DD, all of my family lives in Cali. My SO (not bio dad) and I live in Phoenix, my DD's bio dad also lives in Phoenix. My SO's family lives in Illionis. So, everyone wants us to be closer to them, is it better to stay close to my DD's bio dad so she can have a relationship with him? She's 4.5 and he just started paying child support and seeing her 2 months ago, or should we start discussing whether we should move by my SO's family or mine??

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Asked by allfiller at 1:04 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (802 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You'll have to have DD's bio dads permission to move out of state if he has any custody...I would think so atleast...My situation was very similar to yours, I decided I wanted my dd to have a relationship w/her bio dad and I stayed put...

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 1:07 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You need to do what feels right for your family. If you chose to move you could work out vacations or summers with dd dad.Its a big choice! Kinda of scary too. I hate moving.

    Answer by maggiebella25 at 1:08 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I love to move! Out of the states you've listed my choice would be Cali, just cuz I've always wanted to live there. The situation you've described IMO its best to stay put & let him be a dad. If he's trying, he deserves a chance to be in his child's life. Moving will effectively cut him out of the day to day stuff he can be a part of now cuz you live close. Kids tie you together in life in a way nothing else can. Don't set her up for a life time of wondering why her daddy didn't love her or didn't come to visit or whatever, let him & her have a relationship IF he's trying.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 1:14 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Don't ask us. What is best for your daughter?

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 1:25 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • forget about letting everyone else dictate where you are. where do the two of you want to live? i moved across the country to be closer to some of my family and i left behind alot more than i came for. i hate where i live. hubby's family is all here, some of mine in here, the rest are across the country. we want to live in a completely different area because we know what kind of place we want to be in... california is really expensive. indiana is close to some areas of the country where jobs are scarce, although i don't know about indiana itself... the landscape in all of these places (well, depending on where in cali) is very different... it DOES make a difference. how important is it to you to let your DD's father maintain a relationship with her? why did you go to phoenix in the first place? these are all things that matter in this decision.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:53 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • i meant illinois not indiana...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:53 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

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