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sucessful marriages

I love my husband but he is causing me to resent him. He didn't buy me anything for christmas when I was nine mo prgnant he didn't buy me anything for our first annivsary. we are together all the time healthy everything else but these gifts and stuff is inportant and it hurts a lot. he wants me to communicate about stuff all the time but it just makes me more angree because he just justifies things and I'm back or worse then before. other then that everything is great. God help us to forgive and pray for our husbands you can change them . :)

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JCRestoredme

Asked by JCRestoredme at 12:16 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Level 9 (291 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • As far as Christmas is concerned...what we do is we agree to NOT get eachother anything, and when we are out shopping, if we see something that we both would like we pick it up as a gift to US. It takes a lot of stress out of, and we do the same for Valentines day.

    As far as Anniversary is concerned...yeah. Mine forgot this year too. Its not something that they keep in the back of their mind, like we do, and they need consistant reminders about it, at least a month in advance "Honey, do you realize that next month we will have been together for X amount of time?" Along with a HUGE note on the calendar circling the day should help a little. Just remember that they don't set a huge store on it like we do, to them we are still together and thats all that matters.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:24 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • you can't change men. you accept them. if you have told him how that makes you feel there isn't much you can do to change his personality. just buy yourself the gift next time and show him it and say look what you got me!
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:27 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • My birthday this year was the 1st since we had been together. I just had my daughter in December and my b-day is in January. I was having really bad depression after I had her and my husband didnt do ANYTHING for me on my b-day. No card, no plans, NOTHING! I was crushed! His b-day was in December and I bought him really goods seats at his favorite football teams game for him and 2 of his friends, drove them around every where cause they were drunk and I was 9 and half months pregnant! Well trust me, he wont make that mistake again.
    JoonBug21

    Answer by JoonBug21 at 12:47 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I have a GREAT book I'd love to suggest to you, however, it does have a tendency to rub women the wrong way. If you're interested in knowing the title, send me a message, I'd love to share an excerpt from the book as well.
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 1:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Your "Love Language" is gifts. I'd get the book the 5 Love Languages for Men edition and give him the highlights. Explain to him, when it isn't a special occasion, just how important a little gift is for you. Let him know that when he gets you a gift you see that as being loving. I'd figure out what his love language is and be sure to give him what he needs too. I love that book, it really helped me and my hubby. For us he gives me a hug and a peck a few times a day and I tell him how much I appreciate his hard work. Those small things have made us so much closer to each other! Silly, but true! Get the book and it'll change your life if you let it :) good luck Mom.
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:24 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Your wrong on the part where you said WE can change men. NOPE we can't. Sorry. God can and THEY can but not us...We can help them though, but they make the desicion to change. That's one thing the bible points out is that we can't change others...It does not say it specifically but it does have alot of passages pertaining to it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I wonder if he grew up in a family where they don't give gifts. One thing I do is model the behavior I want. For instance, I put cards in strange places and it starts him doing the same thing. But think about one thing: does he DO things to show he loves you. We're broke and I've asked my husband NOT to buy me something....it's very hard for him. I think the everyday things he does to show he loves me are the best gifts.
    WD40

    Answer by WD40 at 2:52 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • thank you everyone!
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 4:16 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

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