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Am I being selfish?

I've lost 112 lbs, so far, and I've gone from a size 30 down to a 16. My mom has lost 30 lbs and insists she goes down a size everytime I do. By the way, this has all transpired since Christmas. I'm really proud of her and I'm glad she's getting healthy but I feel like it's a big competition all the time and sometimes I just want her to be happy for me and proud of me. Instead, everytime someone compliments me or I tell people how much I've lost, she jumps in with announcing how much she's lost and sometimes throws in a jab about how she did it without surgery. (I had weight loss surgery on Jan. 11th but still have worked very hard at my new lifestyle of eating right, exercising and staying as stress-free as possible.)
So yeah, am I being selfish?


Asked by EwansMommy at 1:55 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Diet & Fitness

Level 20 (9,165 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You're not being selfish. Be proud that you are getting healthy. You may need to talk to your mom about how you feel. It's great that she is losing also. Sometimes it is easier when you are going at it with someone else. It can become a bit competitive, but that's how some people like it. Besides, if it's a competition, you're way in the lead. haha

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 2:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • NO, i think your mom is just be jealous and petty. She should be HAPPY for you and complimenting you along with everyone else, and SUPPORTING you, not trying to make it a competition! :( GREAT job on the weight loss btw!

    Answer by DreainCO at 1:58 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I do not think you are. I agree that it is great that your mom is lossing also but even if you had surgery it is not any easy ride. I say keep your head up and if she tries to take away your spot light (even though that is your mom) I would pry say yes mom you are doing great keep up the good work. and just smile.

    No You deserve some attention for your achievements, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

    Answer by mommy2each at 1:59 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I don't think you are, I think she is. Great that both of you lost weight (I also had WLS last June). It's fantastic no matter how you do it. Us WLSers have to do a lot to keep our weight off. It's a process that never ends.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 2:01 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It might be whats keeping her going, by being competitive. Maybe you should just say something like, "mom, I am so proud of your weightloss, but it makes me feel aweful when you tell people that you did it without surgery, referring to the fact that I did have surgery."

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 2:00 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • But, no, I don't think you are being selfish, she should compliment you just the same.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 2:02 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I don't know that I would call it selfish, but I do think you should just ignore her. The only difference between you and her is that she is saying out loud, "Hey, notice me!" and you are just being a little more discreet about saying the same thing. I think it's perfectly understandable that you would both be proud of what you've accomplished, with or without the applause of other people. So just bask in your success and allow her to bask in hers. That way, everybody's happy!

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You're not being selfish, your mom is being petty and small. She should be as supportive of you as you are of her. Try to ignore her, and be proud of all that you've accomplished!! Even with the surgery, some women don't have those kinds of results! (My friends SIL had it done 3 years ago, and she only lost 20 pounds. I have NO idea how she managed that.)

    Answer by Scuba at 5:48 PM on Jul. 29, 2010