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When I was younger I hit my boyfriend alot and then he eventually broke up with me.

Then when I was 17 my new bf and I were fine until we started to argue and one time when I wouldn't "finish" doing something sexual for him because I had to go home he didn't want to talk to me and a yelled at me to go home and then I flipped and punched him in the eye then the next day he told me to never do it again, but then over the summer he found a text that I sent to a guy and started calling me a slut even tho I didn't cheat then I slapped him a couple of times. I'm 21 now and we've fought recently where he made me mad over something stupid about one of my friends who's a guy and I pulled his hair and he flipped me on my stomach and pulled mine and told me never to put my hands on him again, but I did anyway because I pushed him and he got mad and I wanted to slap him. He calls me abusive, but I call it him pushing my buttons. Is it true what he's saying?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • The behavior you descibe makes me think you need some counseling. The things you have done are abusive. If he called the police you would be arrested for assault and /or battery. Perhaps an anger management program would help.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:51 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yes you are abusive. Many women dont think they are but what would you do if a man did that stuff to you?

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 2:50 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • My personal opinion. Based solely on what you have shared right here, right now.

    You are abusive. And have trouble controlling your impulses.

    At anytime, a person lashes out/acts out/reacts to another (especially someone they are in a relationship with) in a physically violent manner. It's abuse. No matter their justification. When someone "pushes your buttons", it's just as easy to end the conversation and walk away, or tell someone they are pushing your buttons and they need to stop, or any other verbal reaction/response. A person does not need to resort to violence just because someone pushes their buttons. Choosing to do so shows a lack of ability in regards to: actually communicating their feelings in a productive/constructive manner, and the inablity to control their impulses.. In some cases, it's shows that the person has no respect for others, and has to be domineering or have a need to control a situation.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:54 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • yes you are and maybe you should go to counseling

    Answer by shay1130 at 2:50 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yes, you're abusive. What you're doing is no worse than when a man hits a woman. You do realize that you could get arrested if one of these guys calls the police, right? It's not okay to hit someone just bc they're a man. My husband pisses me off too sometimes, and "pushes my buttons" on occasion, but neither of us ever resorts to physical violence. My main concern is that you obviously have children, considering this is Cafemom. What kind of environment is that for them? I suggest you take some sort of Anger Management classes or something.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 2:52 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yes, and you need some help.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:52 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yes you are abusive!

    Answer by mommy11260 at 2:52 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Yes, you are abusive. No matter how aggravated you get at someone, you should NEVER lay your hands on another person. You wouldn't want a man beating on you, would you? I bet not!

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 2:53 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • uhhhhhh .. yes !! u are abusive ! if im mad at my bf/DH, i would talk to him, discuss our problems and if things get too out of control yell and storm out of the room or the house. but hitting or pulling his hair ?? no way woman !!

    Answer by cookie269 at 2:55 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It sucks to hear the answer as being yes but it actually is. Would you call it abuse if a man hits a woman when she pushes his buttons? More than likely it works the same way in the opposite situation. And in my personal opinion if a woman is "man" enough to hit a man then she's man enough to be hit back. You may want to look into counselling like a few others suggested, maybe anger management, I do wish you the best of luck though!

    Answer by Tabatha42183 at 2:59 PM on Jul. 29, 2010