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2 Bumps

What can you do for a woman who just lost her husband?

A close friend of mine lost her husband in a diving accident on Tuesday. I live about 3 hrs from her (I'll be going to see her Sundaynight). She has a 2 year old and a baby due in September. She has lots of wonderful family and friends around her. I want to help but I don't want to be intrusive. I was thinking about bringing her a care package, but I have no idea what to put in it.

Thanks for all your help!

Answer Question
 
hillmom

Asked by hillmom at 3:10 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (188 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Maybe bring things for the children. And just let her know that you are there if she needs anything.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 3:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Take things that she will need for the kids, diapers things like that would be good because that costs a lot, make her a couple dishes that can be frozen and reheated later. I can't really think of much else though I'm sorry
    Tabatha42183

    Answer by Tabatha42183 at 3:12 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Agree with first poster! I am so sorry for your friend, that is a tough one.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:12 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Or a gift certificate to Schwan's (sp?). She can buy frozen meals that are easy to cook for her 2 year old.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 3:12 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • bring the 2 yr old some movies to keep her entertained and some stuff to keep her busy. Maybe some food..offer to take them out of the house for a while. Maybe you could even take the 2 yr old off her hands if the family hasnt offered
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Stuff for her kid will be helpful, like diapers if he/she is still in them, stuff like that. It's something less for her to worry about.
    You could get a gift card to a grocery store and give it to the person helping her out. Someone did that for my MIL when my FIL passed and she was very grateful. It was hard for her in the very beginning to get to the store and pay for stuff like that. Someone gave her a gift card to Walmart and gave it to my husband to get her groceries so she wouldn't have to worry about it.
    If you have any pictures of the two of them together, get it blown up in a pretty frame and give that to her. It could be very comforting.
    Get stuff to help with the baby that she hasn't got yet and save her the trouble of thinking about it.

    Most of all, just give her a hug.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • That is so sad, you are a really good friend. I agree on bringing items for the children and an easy dinner or three for her to freeze and heat up later
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 3:15 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • listen, be there for her, LISTEN, hug her when she needs to be hugged
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 3:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I agree with everyone.First of all...You are a wonderful friend.How are you holding up?If she needs to talk, listen.Things for the kids are good.They just lost their daddy.Food is a good idea too.But the one thing that I feel is the most important is...be there for her AFTER the funeral too.Because thats when its really going to set in.She may need support when she starts going thru the closets.She may not want to do this for awhile.When my son was killed in January,it took my daughter-in-law almost 4 months to start boxing up some of my sons personals.We took our grandson for a week when she decided she was able to do this.I really hope this has helped you.Take care sweetheart. : )
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 3:43 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • personally, the thing I'd worry the least about is being intrusive. I read advice columns all the time and one that I hear over and over is people feeling devastated that friends 'abandoned' them after tragedy. they probably figured that 'someone else' was supporting them through it all.
    I'd just ask her if she wanted company, if she says yes, then great.
    but if she says no a lot, I would talk to people closer by to make sure that someone is checking on them every once in a while to make sure all is OK.

    as for the package you are getting together, I'd include fun stuff, like games for everyone to play and things like that.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:45 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

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