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Anyone one out there that adpoted babies addicted to drugs etc....

I adpoted 3 BIOLOGICAL babies. They are now 5, 4 and 16 months. Hyper, not learning to age level, anger issues - -you name it I probably have a problem with one of the 3 kids

LOST MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoping someone out there has some same issues!!!!!!!!!!

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Asked by Mom2three352 at 12:53 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (11)
  • Nope but, I will be watching this though because my 4 y/o that I have had for a year has FAS and I would like to know what to do with him because everything I have tried isn't working. He is hyper, not learning at age level, and extremely angry.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:38 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I don't have any experience in this, but I have a friend that has 3 sons (all adopted, 2 brothers, 1 cousin) who were all born addicted. I am pretty sure they have all been sent to developmental pediatricians. A dev. ped. can diagnose learning disabilities, ADHD, Asperger's, autism, etc. After they dx they should tell you what to do to help them and where to go from there. Also, the school district should be able to help you, atleast for the older two, even if they aren't in school they would qualify for preschool services to help them get better prepared for when they do start school. Good luck!

    Answer by VAMommyX4 at 2:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • My son has an appt with a psychiatrist in March because they won't take until he is five and the only dev ped is over a year wait.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents that these symptoms that you are describing may have absolutely nothing to do with pre-natal drug use. If you adopted this sibling group, what you are seeing in the older children may be a symptom of adjustment and attachment to a new family (more psychological and emotional in nature than physical). Even if you adopted each of these precious little ones at birth, there are unique attachment issues that adoption brings that can manifest as a whole host of other symptoms. I highly recommend "The Primal Wound" written by Nancy Vierre (an adoptive mom herself) that speaks to behaviors that can manifest early on with adoptees that have little to do with physical disabilities or illnesses. Too many adoptees are tracked into diagnoses that don't get to the core of the issue. Best of luck.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 7:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • OH my friend!!! YES!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!! Both of my daughters were born drug addicted. Let me just tell you (and its sad), my oldest daughters BM sold her for drugs... CPS found her locked in a room with the door shut, in a car seat, with the vacuum running so they wouldnt have to hear her from the kitchen where they were making the meth. She was suffering from addictions to heroine, cocaine, and a wealth of other narcotics... Now (she is 2), she is suffering from lots of behavior problems- lots of self mutilation. She scratches and slaps and pinches and bites herself... And she never slows down!!! My youngest- also addicted to methamphetamines and cocaine- is 18 months and extremely behind developmentally. She is doing a ton better... but still not great. And she has some really weird issues with speech. We should chat!

    Answer by adoptivemommy24 at 12:22 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • and let me just further explain because I know someone is going to tell me its a phase that my child pinches and hits herself...
    When I say self mutilation, I mean it.... She broke her pinky finger one day because I told her she needed to wait. She looked right at me, broke her finger, and DIDNT CRY. When I panicked because her finger was broken, she broke her other pinky finger! She didnt cry when they popped it back in place.... nothing.

    I read somewhere that drug addicted babies have a ridiculously high pain tolerance.

    Answer by adoptivemommy24 at 12:25 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • My cousin was a "crack" baby. I use to pee in mt SIL's cup for her prenatal visits...this was 17 years ago. My mom raised him. the first 3 years were a WTF mess but now he is a honor roll student and has 3 pending scholarships...don't give up!!!! I don't know about the meth though...we learned early drugs and pregnancy's don't get along. This is why I have to place my babt...the family is burnt out!

    Answer by Birthmom1 at 5:54 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Glad I saw this daughter tested positive for cocaine at birth (we got her when she was 6 days old). She has been in Early Intervention since she was 6 months old. She's had developmental, occupational, speech, and physical therapy. No one knows for sure if it was from the drugs, or just the way she is. She likes to do things on her own time, on her terms, so it's hard to judge sometimes. She just turned 2 and is now only having dev. therapy, which ends in December. She also has anger issues, which we DO contribute to her biomom, who has severe anger issues.

    Answer by LizClara at 4:34 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • continued...
    EI has given us a behavioral specialist to work with, since they don't start actual anger management therapy until a child is 5 (which is ridiculous!). My DD also has that HIGH tolerance for pain, but I never realized that could be a factor of being born addicted. EI is only for kids up to 3 yrs old in our state, but you have a 16 mo, so I would check into what services they have in your area. They have been a wonderful help to us for the last 2 years.

    Answer by LizClara at 4:35 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • My husband and I have adopted three boys (2 are brothers) all of which were exposed to drugs prenatally and as infants as well as violence in the home. It has not always been an easy road; however, that being said, as challenging as it is, it is just as rewarding. Our oldest is no 15, adopted him when he was 9; diagnosed as ADHD, RAD, etc. We went through a lot with behavioral issues. Our 7 year old has learning disabilities and our 5 year old has some severe attachment issues which has caused some really difficult situations in our family. But, we keep trudging on knowing that God sent these children to us for a reason and we keep educating ourselves on how to best deal with the issues we come up against and, of course, the support of others is extremely important. We have friends that have been or are foster/adoptive parents and can relate to many of the things we have been or are going through.

    Answer by admsfmlywmn at 8:57 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

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