Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Ladies, Help!

My stepdaughter has an abusive boyfriend, whom she told me they were broke up. She told me she was talking to a new guy. Well, i've been staying out of the boyfriend situation because I found the boy in my house and told her dad, she lied and said he wasn't, my hubby believed her, so I said, okay, now he can deal with them. Well, anyway, she just come in my room cryin, sayin, the 1st boyfriend got beat up and can she go to his house for a couple hours? I asked her what her dad said, she said, he said to ask me. why would he put me in it, when he knows I don't want to deal with that bcuz he always takes her side with the boyfriend, but he tells her to ask me? I said I thought you guys were broke up? No, i love him, this is News to me. My ss said he'll take her for 15 min to see if he is allright and bring her back, I said okay. Should I let her do this or should I stay out of it like i've been doin. She lies alot, im frustratd

Answer Question
 
mrs2323

Asked by mrs2323 at 5:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,623 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • maybe you should take her there so you know she is ok. Tell her you will wait in the car and to come back in 20 mins or you will come to the door. take a magazine or book to read while you wait.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Put it back on dear old dad! Tell her that if she wants to do this, she needs to have her dad's permission and have him call you to confirm. Sounds like she is playing both of you...
    HuskerMommy08

    Answer by HuskerMommy08 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • If he is abusive, in my opinion, she should not be anywhere near him...
    onyourterms

    Answer by onyourterms at 5:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • You are in a no-win situation. Your husband is being wishy washy about this and now he wants you to make this decision. It doesn't make a dime's worth of difference what you tell her. However this turns out, you are going to be the bad guy. I guess your one safe alternative might be to drive her over there yourself and bring her back. When the parents are at odds, everybody is going to lose in the end. It's unfortunate, but it is the truth.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • get her away from him! that bf is just trash! she can do better! my husband would kill anyone who puts their hands on our daughter!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 5:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • i cant say what iwould do however find out if its true and what form the abuse is taking { based on the statement she lies alot} and if her dad chooses not to see it then its up to u as her parent { ihate the word step" to do right by her } and act act accordingly! good luck with them
    unipeg

    Answer by unipeg at 5:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I agree, put this back on her dad. He took her side before, he needs to handle her. Good Luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Thanks, ladies. Your ideas are very helpful. my hubby told the 20 year old brother to take her for 15min and see if the boy is beat up. I think she just wanted to go be with him. And now she wants me to be in it so i can get her dad to let her go. I don't want to be in thi.He's callin me now
    mrs2323

    Comment by mrs2323 (original poster) at 5:28 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • if she lies alot and dad always takes her side, the best thing for you to do, is to stay out of it and allow Dad, SS or anybody else to deal with it...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:39 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I am a step-mom and we never had this type of problem. We always talked to each other and decided what to do together. I am sorry to say but I think if her dad decides that he wants to take her word over yours, you may be put on the spot by her. Let dad take care of this one. I would at some point ask to speak to the both of them and let it be known that you will not deal with this part of relationship. This way they will both know your not going to put in the middle when they feel like they want you to. Good Luck and if you need to vent im me no problem. :o)
    sissywilcox

    Answer by sissywilcox at 5:58 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Betraying a friend?

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
What would you do...