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IS any one else doing the same as me?

Ok when my sister had her first baby in 2003. I became the babys mother not by choice but cuz I needed to. And now she has another baby and she is doing the same thing with her as she did with the first one. And she expects me and every one else to raise this baby. And she thinks that just cuz im still raising the first one I should raise this one to.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • What is she doing that causes other people to have to take care of her children? Personally I would take the other child just so he/she can grow up with their brother/sister.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 1:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I agree with the PP. I do foster care and some of the mothers keep having babies and then you get that call saying "there is another baby in the family, will you take them" know on one hand, I like sleep and having a baby in the house constantly is hard on your body, maybe I didn't plan on having more kids in the house just then, but I've always managed to make it work and done it anyway to keep the kids together. God willing you're getting some kind of financial support or help because if I didn't have the financial help for the kids, there is just sometimes it just wouldn't have been possible. Good luck to you, and if you possibly can, try to keep the kids together because an irresponsible mother isn't their fault.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 1:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I'd probably take the baby. {sigh} Is there anyway she could get sterilized? You don't need another one in the future and it seems she sure doesn't! That's so hard! Bless you Mom. I hope you get some financial help.

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:45 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I agree with everyone. It is not the fault of the children that they have an irresponsible mother; and it's not your fault either! I would have a talk with your sister though because you seem to be her form of birth control and that's not fair to anyone. She really needs to consider realy birth control because this is not something to be careless with. She is lucky to have you. You obviously can take great care of her kid(s) the way that she can't. Good luck!

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Why does she keep having these babies and just handing them to you??? Some needs to talk to her about what causes it and the precautions that she needs to take so this stops happening!!! Also i agree with everyone its not your fault or the kids but it would be nice if the kids grew up together and its wonderful you have such a good heart!! and yes I hope your getting some kind of financial support for this.... god bless

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 4:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • It's also not YOUR fault that you have a sister who will take advantage of you like that. My oldest sister & I shared custody of our sister's 2 kids. We then decided we couldn't do it. They went to foster care. The foster care parents were great. We put OUR FAMILIES 1st! Our OWN children were suffering. The foster parents had the time (& money) to take them places. We are both daycare providers. We were taking care of other people's children during the day & we had our sister's kids at night too? It was a never ending job & we never had our own family time.

    Your sister needs to learn that she can't do that to you. If her kids are with family she will just take advantage of you, but if they are in foster care she will do what she can to get them back. We made the right decision for her family and ours. They are with their mom now - where they should be!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Don't teach your sister that it's ok to do what she is doing. That's exactly what you are teaching her by taking those kids. It's not the kids fault..... but your sister knows that's exactly what you will think and you will take the kids because of that. She will never learn her lesson if you take her kids AND she might have more kids! That's not your fault. Whatever happens with HER kids is not your fault.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I keep trying to talk to her about getting her tubes tied, like i did after my second was born. But she thinks that right man will come along. No man in his right mind will want a woman with 2 dozen kids. I dont know what to do with her anymore she is so RETARDED. I feel really bad for her daughter, I wish I could take her but its hard already with my 2 kids and her oldest one. But isnt there a law or something on what she is doing? If not there should be one for all the mothers haveing a baby after baby and dumping them like trash.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

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