Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

My true love... after 20 years...

Im gonna try to make a long story short and hope it makes sense. Years ago I had a boyfriend(my first true love) for 3 years. We were 14 when we got together and 16 when he broke my heart. We did a lot of firsts together, but not actual sex. He moved away and I finally got over it but never forgot him and often wondered about him. Well, the other day, after 20 years I found him on facebook! We started talking and sharing about our families. I am happily married and he is divorced. He told me he was an idiot for breaking my heart and he realized how much he loved me after he left. I told him yes he was, but we were both young. He wants to come and meet my husband and kids and see my parents,bro. and sisters. I have mixed feelings about it. My hubby says its ok but im afraid of what kind of mess I will be when I finally see him again. I really loved him..thats what makes it so hard. I need help/advice.

Answer Question

Asked by heavenlypeace at 10:00 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I would talk this over with your DH. Let him know your reservations and then go from there. If you are still hearing warning bells in your head then it's best to not 'open a can of worms' after all these years.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I was recently reunited with an ex bf who came looking for me after 20 yrs. EVERYTHING has changed hon. Im not that girl now, he is not that same guy now. We have been dating on and off for over a year and it has not been easy. Even with being single, stuff changes,,ya know? Its hard to rekindle something that has been gone for a long, long time. Sounds like you have an amazing dh, do not drag him and your children into this, it isnt worth the emotional toll.

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • if it was me, I'd see him alone in a public place first. if not that, with the husband. but I wouldn't go bringing the kids or other family into that until you make sure everything is cool, and be sure how you feel about it.

    once you bring everyone else into it, then it becomes everyone's business.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:28 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I believe in leaving the past in the past but now that you brought it up to DH you almost have to do it or he'll think something is up.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:33 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Don't do it.
    If you are happy with your dh, don't do it. The feelings will come back and they will be as strong.
    I've been through this but my marriage wasn't the best. It's left me doubley heartbroken, as he is happily married.
    IF you need someone to talk to, drop me a line.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:11 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.