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Why do so many people here say a women is "insecure" because she gets jealous? Doesn't the nature of romantic love include protecting what is ours?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • Yes protecting what is ours is part of our nature, but jealousy stems from mistrust and insecurity about their mate. If you trusted them completely, you would never be jealous of another woman since you would KNOW that there's no chance in heck they would ever be interested

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I don't see jealousy as having anything to do with protecting what's ours. It's purely insecurity about your relationship and yourself... If you were secure in your relationship and secure in yourself, you would have no need for jealousy... I have no need for it. I've never been jealous a day in my life. I see no point in it... It's a weakness I don't have any time or energy for.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:27 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • No. Jealousy IS due to insecurity. If you were secure in the relationship then there would be no need to protect it. It would be fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:31 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • most women on cafemom get jealous DUE to thier insecurities. nothing more. and no sorry. love should not be jealous or possessive. not to me anyways

    Answer by sati769leigh at 10:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • yes, i agree with you!
    i can be really jealous person over my SO and it has nothing to do with my insecurities. well, it may have alittle to do with insecurities, but mostly its just because thats my fiance and hes all mine!!! no sharing!! no girls should be talking or looking at him and he should not be talking or looking at any other girls.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • If we're %100 secure we wouldn't feel the need to "protect" our man from another women. If we're totally secure in our relationship then we'd know better than to think some bitch would steal our man. If there has cheating issues, this can turn a totally secure person into an insecure person. People wonder if they werent good enough & such.

    Jealousy always comes from some kind of insecurity. BUT, everybody has them.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It's a fine line. In my last relationship I wasn't worried about my SO cheating or leaving me for someone else but it did bother me when other women would try to make a move simply because he was mine and no one but me had the right to give him those flirtatious looks. It didn't make me angry, it was more of an irritation and I had no problem making it clear he was mine.

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 10:26 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I dont know that it has to do with insecurities about ones mate as jademom07 said... but issues with ourselves.

    I have never been a jealous person.  If I caught a fella in a lie... I left.  There was no second chance.  It had NOTHING to do with ME... it was HIM lying and not being honest.  (well maybe a bit of me because I chose to date him).  That carried through ALL of my dating.  I wasnt jealous because if they looked the other way, paid too much attention to another girl, paid too much attention anywhere... I was gone.  I AM WORTH MORE.  No jealousy... that wasnt the last man alive.


    Answer by sahlady at 10:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • And when I finally found the right fella... I knew it and there was no reason to be jealous because we knew where we stood. So it isnt about choosing wrong or not trusting him... it is about how much self worth you have. If you feel you are worth more you are not jealous you are pro-active. If you think that is the only man out there that will ever like you... then you have a sad long road of being jealous.

    Answer by sahlady at 10:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Not always. If you are jealous because of someone's looks, then it's an insecurity you need to work out or address with your SO. If it's over time spent with his friends, it's still something that needs to be talked about and worked out. Jealously can be the most evil thing in a relationship and can destroy it.

    Answer by michelle121003 at 10:49 PM on Jul. 29, 2010