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15 Bumps

Not a question, I just need to get this out! (tmi, about being molested,including details) adult content

I was molested for my entire childhood, even through all the counseling, there are things I may NEVER be able to do for DH. I need to get this out, to feel like I have said it out loud before I blow up at DH and tell him! I CAN NOT SWALLOW OR HAVE IT IN MY MOUTH! My father forced me to over and over, from age 4. I just can't do it! PLEASE stop asking me over and over! I CAN NOT DO IT! I can hardly do oral or anal. PLEASE just accept that I can't do somethings! You know I was molested, and some details. So when I say drop it or stop! Just stop before I tell you details you will never be able to get out of your head!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Jul. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • telling him could do you a lot more good than any counceling you could ever get. my counceling was a load of BS and did nothing for me.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:34 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I'm with you there! I am a survivor of child molestation. Thankfully, I have an SO that doesn't push the issue. I hope that someday your DH will understand. Hugs!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:21 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • If your husband is aware of you being sexually abused especially for as long as you were he shouldn't be pushing you to do anything. Perhaps you can ask him to accompany you to a counseling session so he better understands how you feel when he asks you to do things you don't feel comfortable with.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Maybe he needs to know the details. It could be healing for you and help him be more understanding. I am so so sorry you had to go through that. No one should have to.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:22 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • I would venture a guess that your DH does not understand the extent or nature of the sexual abuse you endured. I would talk to your counselor about bringing him to a counseling session where you could discuss this and how important it is that you not do this. It not your responsibility to keep yucky images out of your DH's mind. It IS your responsibility to take care of yourself and make sure you are ok.
    emilex

    Answer by emilex at 10:43 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • This is very very personal, I am sorry and it seems that you would benefit still greatly from continuing on the counseling. It's not perfect or a quick fix, but try to stop belittling your own mind, you're a human, and a creation. Still journal and get out things here, but it's hard to be graphic on such a site as this being public.

    Nobody should be in any relationship in where it goes past your standards of excellence. Period!! You aren't what others made or try to get you to be. Read this over some more until it makes you feel better.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 10:25 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • All I can say is that you are one strong woman...know that...! What you endured, I can relate.. maybe not to a tee..but, what it was..was wrong & confusing & embarassing..These things are hard to overcome..Please, don"t do anything you are not comfortable doing..( just to please him)..today you are not that little girl being forced..you are a brave & beautiful woman..give yourself credit...You are not ALONE...Be Good to YOU...Much luv
    jmfire14

    Answer by jmfire14 at 10:30 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • omg im so sorry for you..sounds like your dh is a total douche..i would just tell him and maybe he would get the point...this must not be easy for you...again im so sorry
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 10:34 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • Maybe your husband does need to hear the details so he knows why this is a problem for you. You should not be made to feel like you should or need to do something that you do not want to do or do not feel comfortable doing. If it's a problem for him then he is a totally insensitive asshole and you deserve better! Momma, you know what you need and you deserve to get that respect!
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 10:40 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • YOu are no longer a little girl and your father no longer has any physical power over you. You are allowing your father to keep control of you mentally. WHat is done is done and over YOu are free to move on. YOu are now in control. YOu decide what happens in your sex life. YOu decide when enough is enough and when enough isn't enough. YOU ARE IN CONTROL! You are a beautiful woman who is free. :) Talk to DH so he will stop pushing and allow you to be in control. Once you have control of when and how you may find your self braver.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Jul. 29, 2010

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