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Is it okay to take son to funeral?

My uncle passed away wednesday from leukemia. My son is only 4 and knew who he was. He already asks me why was his uncle sick? why was he sleeping at the drs?..I told him hes with Jesus, and that we are all ment to be here only for a short while. He told me hes scared to go to jesus becuase he cant see him. Im hoping i didnt say the wrong things. i am grieving and a bit frustrated over my uncles death, but i didnt want to leave him filled with questions. I want him to know hes in a better place, not sick anymore. And that we will see him again. I really wish things could have been diffrent. (tears)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • I think it would be ok to take your son to the funeral. i look at it like an opportunity to teach your child rather than a way to protect. I think you said the right thing to him even with the response he gave you. Death is a part of life, it's not a bad thing (if you know where your loved one is going) and it's comforting to tell your child about heaven and that he will get to see his uncle again someday. I wouldn't plan on having him there with you all day or anything but I think it's helpful for him to get to say goodbye also so he understands your grieving process. Nothing more confusing when children don't know why your upset and crying. With deepest sympathy from me to you. Good luck
    fbic72

    Answer by fbic72 at 3:28 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • im really sorry about your loss, but if your son is already saying he is scared to go with jesus, imagine him seeing or being around the body of his uncle??? i wouldnt take him, i think hes too little for that anyways, but that right there would REALLY make me not take him. once again im sorry for you and your family :) god bless
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I took my 3 year old son to my grandpas funeral, because I didnt have anybody to take care of him, so I had no other choice, but too take him, not where they burry them at the cemetary but at the rosary where you get to see the body for the last time and he's like "bye grandpa" there was other kids there between the age of newborns to 5 yrs old.
    kimaam

    Answer by kimaam at 2:31 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • My sister and I are over 20 years apart and when our aunt who had been living with my family during the 2 months before her death unexpectedly died when my sister was 4, I think she did very well. At first in the shock and awe, no one talked to her about it and she had never even experienced the death of a pet. After about 8 hours she came and told me she was confused, so we talked. I explained that her body had died, but that she was actually in heaven. She was very upset and confused until after the wake. At the wake and rosary she waited for everyone else to leave and she went and took her time to say goodbye and asked that everyone leave her alone. When she exited the viewing room she waved goodbye to the casket and ran off to play on the playground. She would get sad occasionally, but I think the wake and funeral were good for her.

    I am sorry for your loss and I hope this story helps ease your mind a little.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

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