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How do you not go into a deep depression when...

Your child (12 yrs. old) whom you have been the primary care giver his whole life decides that he wants to move in with his dad? We moved so I could finish up my bachelor degree (I only have one year left) and ever since he started school he has said that he was moving with his dad so that he can get a better education. He say's that the school is chaotic and that there are so many juvenile delinquents that he doesn't want to associate with them. And that he can't concentrate because the classrooms are so chaotic. Which was verified when my son, in front of the principal, said to another teacher, "Mrs... Your classroom is so out of control that you spend half the class period disciplining the class and not teaching."The teacher replied, "your right, there are about 10 kids that I have been trying to control, and it is chaos." It was confirmed by a teacher. I have to let him go, but I am dying inside.

Answer Question
 
Darlas34

Asked by Darlas34 at 12:21 AM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (3 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Can you afford to put him in a private school?
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:24 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • So now it's all about earning credit's and not helping other women out? Do I need to change sites?
    Darlas34

    Comment by Darlas34 (original poster) at 12:28 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • oh, shoot, I didn't even see the message! All has changed since last time I was on! All I saw was the levels and such... sorry

    No, I can't afford private school, barely making it as it is. Trust me I thought about that.
    Darlas34

    Comment by Darlas34 (original poster) at 12:36 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I would move back to where my son was going to school so he can feel more comfortable or transfer somewhere else. If I had to put my bachelor degree on hold I would. To me it would not be worth loosing my child. My kids come first. Now I understand your getting a degree is putting your family first in the long run...but I would do what I had to do for my child.
    Momforhealth

    Answer by Momforhealth at 12:41 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Unless you can maybe get your child transferred to another public school, or let him go with dad. Just let the child know that you will be there for them no matter what.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:41 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Well, when I say I moved, I moved. I bought a house, my first house and was able to qualify for help on the down payment and if I move now, I have to repay that. I can't afford that right now. I have put him first all his life and by me going to school, I was also putting him first so we can have a better life. I can not transfer anywhere near his dad (our old neighborhood) because they do not have my major any where near there. I am stuck. I am sad. I just don't want to feel like this forever. But fear I will. He made his decision and I tried really hard to change it to no avail. Trust me, I thought about all scenarios and I just have to let him go. He will be an hour away and I will see him every other week or more if his dad lets me. I just want advice on what to do to make myself not so sad.
    Darlas34

    Comment by Darlas34 (original poster) at 12:47 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Just try to keep in your mind how important your education is for your family. And that his education is just as important for his future. Thank goodness at 12 that he realizes that the school he is in just isn't cutting it and was bright enough to bring to your attention. Sounds to me you have one smart kid! Good luck.
    zadesmom1998

    Answer by zadesmom1998 at 1:02 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • As hard as it may be to let him go, this will be a sacrifice out of love.
    chocaholic888

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 1:42 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • My advice is this. As parents we have to make the best decisions possible for our children's healthy future. IF letting him go live with his dad is the best decision, then it is. You have not said he wants to be away from you, he just wants a better place to grow. You just take solace in doing your MOM job the best you can. You will also have more time to complete YOUR education and that is also in your son's best interests. {HUGS}
    Liansmommie

    Answer by Liansmommie at 5:17 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I would probably have to go check out some other schools in the area. If there was one that was suitable for him and it did not conflict with our everyday route with me getting to work on time. I would let him go to the other school that I founded in the area and talk to him and his dad. To see if it was suitable for them both. If not then talk to his dad about the situation in the school he attends now and let him know that our child can't learn with a classroom that is over full and you need his help.
    AngieB615

    Answer by AngieB615 at 8:51 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

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