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Around my house, I can't get my kids 22, 17 and 11 to pick up after themselves. Do you have any advice?

 
amessageofhope

Asked by amessageofhope at 12:55 AM on Jul. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 23 (17,397 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I know how it is...I have the same problem with my kids that are around the ages of yours and you know it is not as cut and dried as "kick them out" my kids have jobs and the the youngest of the teens has school too. I tell them that if they want clean clothes, wash them yourself, if you want a clean room and bathroom, do it yourself....I clean the kitchen and do the cooking because i am a sahm, it is my job, IMO, to do those things.
    my 5 yr old is trained to put away one toy before taking out the next and hopefully I can get him to do more then his sisters when he is a teenager.
    My neighbor has an 18 yr old son who is very tidy because of what she would do when he was younger...if his room was not clean, if he had clothes on the floor even...she would wake him up at 2 am, and move everything out of his room...then he had to earn everything back...now at 18 he is so good that he even mows our grass for nothing!
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 1:15 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • YEah. Kick the 22 year old out. Make the 17 year old get a job and tell the eleven year old he's grounded if he doesn't pick up his weight. Stand up to them!
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 12:57 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • My son, 21, came home from college with a ton of dirty laundry. He wanted ME to wash it. Yeah, right. After he had run out of clean anything, he got off his duff and washed his own clothes. Come on, he is in medical school, I am sure he can figure out how to make a washer and dryer work. I pushed my kids hard. Sometimes it works and sometimes it backfired on me.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 1:42 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • K well number one, 22 year old needs to learn some responsibilities and maybe even MOVE OUT. Go to college. Get a job something. 17 haha, Yea I am 22 it wasnt that long ago. I got married when i was 16 still married to the same guy and have 2 lil boys. If I can be responsible at 16 he or she can start helping out. tell em that if they dont start helping out that they wont be able to hang out with there friends for like a week. if you do that n they still dont listen then tell em you will kick em out. Push em. If they still dont listen then take all there crap and throw it outside, Tell em to GET OUT or be responsible. you dont have to actually Kick em out but make them Belive you are serious. Be FIRM... 11 well that shouldnt be to hard... But then again i was very sweet when i was 11 it was when i turned 14 that I went phyco. lol Ask them hey would you like to go out and (whatever they like to do) then ask for help.
    wildcatamber23

    Answer by wildcatamber23 at 1:00 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • 22 yo needs to move or stop cooking, cleaning, washing and providing for. 16 yo take away privileges.. if they drive, no car accept for school and/or work, and if they have a cell phone have them hand it over. 11 yo grounded until they figure it out and take away privileges.
    bonn777

    Answer by bonn777 at 1:06 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • First, go on strike. Stop doing anything for them. If they leave their crap out toss it (or hide it). They are all old enough to take care of themselves. you shouldn't be doing anything for them except maybe cooking dinner. My kids are only 10, 8, 7 and 4 and I expect them to take care of themselves to a point. They clean up all their own messes (or are supposed to), do their laundry (except the 4yo) and know how to get their own food/make sandwiches, etc.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:09 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I would hand the 22 year old a lease for his room, and apartment listings.

    Tell all of them that they have 24 hours to get their belongings in their rooms, or they will be thrown away. Keep your promise!!

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:56 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

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