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3 Bumps

Is it necessary to deprive a child of its history and heritage in order to take it in and care for it and raise it and love it?

closed adoption and sealed records?


Asked by adopteeme at 1:59 AM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (3,092 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • an ooportunity for herself and her children. If ethnicity and culture doesn't matter why then is tracing your family roots so important? Why is geneology a very popular hobby? Go to any book store and look at how many magazines are devoted to this topic. If it doesn't matter why do so many people proudly claim their Italian heritage and cook dinners of their family orgin and heritage? Because it does matter. It matters in a very primal way. Most of us have that need to connect to our past. As an adoptee how do you make that connection? As a bio child you have parents and grandparents who tell you stories, share recipes, review cultural history. Many even take family trips back to their "old country". So as a parent I will strive to connect my child to his race, culture, and his history. That is normal and healthy.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:18 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Not at all,you can love any child as long as you have a good heart,and their heritage is important,about the only thing I would never tell a child would be if they had been conceived by rape,because they need to feel they were made with love.When you adopt a child,then they are born of your heart.They are chosen through your love.If you mean family history,as in names and things,that's up to each person,if you mean as in the country they came from,or ethnic background,I would research it,and teach them.One thing I've never taught my kids,or let anyone teach my kids and that is prejudice against any race,because theirs good and bad in all races.Color doesn't matter,but if your ethnic background is different than theirs,they should know and experience their heritage too.

    Answer by TootieFruitie at 9:58 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • surfcitymom: That depends on if one believes that people are so interchangeable that spirituality transcends everything, no matter who we are born to.

    I'd like to think the majority of people wouldn't think that way when looking at their child(ren)'s faces.

    @adopteeme: Unfortunately... or fortunately (because a legal guardian and/or parent is necessary!), legally erasing everything is the only way a child can be switched to another family.

    Answer by Mei-Ling at 1:03 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Absolutely not. The opposite is true. one should honor and respect the child's history and origins in order to care for it.

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:45 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • The closed adoption is weird~but it is not a blueprint for parenting. Sure my DD bio dad has horrible teeth but I am not going to parent her different because of that.

    Heritage? Heritage of Origin? Ya not always honored~lets think of a time it was honored? And that is just your genetic line, what about your spiritual line? Past lives? I think we have been lots of genetic lines over our spiritually lives.

    We come into this world for our our life's purpose~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 10:45 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I ran into a single adoptive mom of two trasracial girls at the mall... Being that it was obvious we had things in commonwe ended up at the mall indoor playground and chatted for awhile. Her take: she told the judge that she is raising her children American first. The judge had asked her how she planned on keeping her black child connected to her heritage. This parent got the feeling that the judge did not like her answer. I do understand her reasoning although I don't agree. What is American? That is my point. Who decides? The reality is our history books only tell a very filtered perverted version of American history and often have many lies in the content of it's texts. So this woman will teach her version of being American to her children. While I nodded and smiled at her, I also worried about her kids. She was obviously a good mom in so many ways but as a transraicial adoptive parent I think she is missing

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:54 AM on Jul. 31, 2010