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How did you get your SO to be more gentle with the baby and not so hard on her?

My husband has a hard time with the chronic crying (since my daughter has so many medical problems, it's normally all night and all day). What do I do to make him act more gentle with her and not so rough? He doesn't even realize he is being rough since she's a baby and not one of his guy friends?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would remind him that he can't be quite so rough with her. (But don't nag at him about it - I would hate to see a marriage break up because of a baby crying) - Maybe have him leave the house for a while to calm down a not hear her crying anymore. I used to do that with my boys...I would put them in him in his crib & then I would go sit outside for 5 minutes..just to catch my breath & cool down a bit. It was plenty enough for me to calm down without hearing him still crying. When I'd come back in, he was either sleeping or still crying. If we was still crying, I was able to be calmer when I picked him up - which made him calmer & stop crying. Maybe that's what your DH needs, too? Just a small break without crying...and you, too!!! Good luck! This too shall pass!!

    Answer by mama_of5 at 10:10 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • You kind of just have to straight out tell him, and you will probably have to do it more than once.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:50 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I would constanly be telling him not to be rough if he's going to hurt her, but honestly, I know that my Dh was a little more rough with my Dd when she was young then I was, but he had his own way of dealing with her, and I didn't interfere unless I thought it could lead to him hurting her. If the baby isn't being hurt by the way he's treating her, he's just not being careful enough in your opinion, then I wouldn't say anything.. or maybe a gentle reminded that he's holding a fradgile package.
    If he's being rough enough to hurt her, I wouldn't even let him pick her up until he calms down and is able to handle her properly.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 3:03 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Consistency. If not, baby duty falls completely on you.

    Answer by mom23boys679 at 2:58 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Tell him when you see him do it since he may not realize it. My husband play rough with my daughter and my heart skip a beat every time. Bcause I'm afraid she might get hurt but for some reason she likes it and goes back for more.

    Answer by Cassandre at 1:47 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • My husband is also a little rough with our girls but I have learned to just let it be unless it seems they could really be in danger. If he is frustrated by her crying then maybe you should just do the rocking for now, I know it's exhausting but it won't last forever.

    Answer by triciamarie73 at 3:37 PM on Jul. 31, 2010