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My son is twelve years old and going through a rebellion stage how do you get them to listen and respect your household plus no smart remarks? Plus he does not want too clean his room! What do you do?

twelve years old going through the death of his father since he was three. Tried to give him things but now can't get him to take me serious. It's like it's all about him and nobody else.


Asked by AngieB615 at 8:13 AM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (43 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Explain that you if he doesnt clean his room you will with the stipulation that everything you touch goes to the trash can clothes shoes ipod Everything. You can bag the things if you dont want to actually throw them out but he should lose use of the items. Tell him that unless he is willing to show repect and treat you as you shoulld be treated that he will lose his privledges that you provide him. Leave his tv but take the cable box/cable. Allowance will be earned until he shapes up. Tell him he will have to pack a lunch & you will no longer provide lunch money ect ect. But before you act warn him of the consequences & give him a few days during which you dont say a word about anything. That way the ball is in his court & it makes him responsible for his actions or lack there of. My mother used these on me & it was a heck of a wakeup call. I love her for it today because it taught me alot about actions & consequences

    Answer by ocielee at 9:19 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • If he wouldnt clean his room.....I would....with a trash bag...then the trash bag would go up into my closet.

    I would do this everytime the room needed cleaning until he decided he wanted to keep his stuff.


    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:15 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Start taking away things such as video games.

    Answer by queen.bee at 8:17 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but if you've been buying him things since the death of his father 9 years ago, it sounds as if he's become bratty, and EXPECTS you to do everything for him--coupled with the age of defiance!

    You need to lay down the law, and establish new ground rules--and stick with them--meaning consistency and follow-up and follow through on punishments, until he gets it!!

    If he's becoming withdrawn, inappropriately angry and defiant, then I suggest professional counseling to help him to learn to deal with his feelings, and put things in perspective--appreciating what he DOES have instead of feeling sorry for what he doesn't have.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:20 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • My daughter has started doing this with her kids taking the trash bag to their room she also takes their TV'S. Ground him, don't buy him anything else until he does what you ask, don't take him out to eat, don't let him play with any of his friends take away all priviledges until he decides to do what you ask and stop talking back

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 8:19 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I put money in a jar ($14 a week [i.e. $2 a day]). Any insults/disrespect, my son had to pay a dollar to the person he was disrespectful to (parent OR sibling!). At the end of the week, he got to keep whatever was left in the jar. My son likes money, but he also HATED having the person her disrespected getting rewarded right when he was in the midst of insulting them! It worked like a charm, and within a few weeks wasn't needed anymore. If money is an issue for you (i.e. you don't do allowances), put the kid's OWN personal money in the jar!

    Answer by mamahobbit at 8:25 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • find his currency
    my step son loves his vedio game things
    this is his currency, i use taking away just for worst behavoirs like sassy mouth
    chores for other behavoirs

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:21 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Thanks ladies I have taken everything from his except his bed. He just does not care and he goes to counseling but I still have not seen any changes.

    Comment by AngieB615 (original poster) at 9:17 AM on Jul. 30, 2010