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Question asked before: What can I do to make my 16 month old mind?

I Have tried every technique possible! You all say to not let him make us leave what choice do I really have when we're in public and people see him screaming to the top of his lungs and makes others think that we're beating him to death or something in that nature. Last night was the worst night in my life when he finally went down last night it was 10 pm! He won't go to bed when we try to set a bedtime. It's like he's in his own little world and forget what we have to say. This is something that we have just ran out of ideas. We try our best to follow through with our intentions of making him mind. The doctor has already said that he is perfectly healthy and that he just has a behavior problem. Everyone seems like we can have control. It is so bad that anymore control isn't an option. We don't get up and leave because of his fits he throws them so bad that he doesn't give us another option. This isn't long enough check answe

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Mommyof4224

Asked by Mommyof4224 at 11:33 AM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • It has gotten so bad lately that we can't do anything with the other sibilings.. Something has to give. We don't have a choice because the fits he throws people think he's being murdered. As for letting him cry or scream it out my neighbors dont understand that we're going through this much problems with a child that thinks we're in his world and hes the captain!
    Mommyof4224

    Comment by Mommyof4224 (original poster) at 11:36 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • He needs spanked. And you and your husband need to learn to not be a push over. No 16 month old is gonna scream and "MAKE" me bend to his will and command. Either you are very consistent and thorough in your discipline or he is just bad now and too far gone...it is time to get mean and mean it.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:39 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I don't think your child has a behavior problem, I think you have a parenting problem. I doubt you have tried every technique possible. You haven't listed anything other than beating. Psychologists know that the authoritative style of parenting is the most effective. You can go to google and read about parenting styles and why hitting and being authoritarian doean't work.


    A good first book is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. She has a web site called Star Parenting. It has a nice parenting chart that you can print out and put on the fridge. She uses problem prevention and solving methods.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:44 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • If he is the only one of your children that has these problems, chances are it is not specifically your parenting.


    You could try an occupational therapist evaluation for behavior issues and a developmental ped to see if there are any medical issues; the latter takes 9m to a year to get an appointment. If you are sure his sight and hearing are not an issue it could be that he has sensory issues; my son's behavior degrades in proportion to the number of people he is around--the more people, the worse his behavior. It can be really difficult to get people to listen when your child is developmentally on target or "worse", advanced.


    Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist

    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 11:49 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Look up early intervention in your area...they can set you up with a behavior specialist. Dial 211 or whatever it is in your state. There are some great ways of dealing with these issues, but you need a behavior specialist. Sorry you're going through this. Good luck!
    chupachyps

    Answer by chupachyps at 11:49 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • People will tell you to spank and use time out. These forms of punishments don't stop bad behavior and don't teach good behavior. Children should never be hit. Parents should be smart enough to parent their children in ways that they are well behaved and don't need to be hit. I have a 22 mo grandson that is very strong willed, active, and gets into stuff. He is well behaved and we can take him anywhere. We get complements all the time on how well behaved he is. He has never been hit or punished. I raised 3 sons that are very polite, well behaved adults and they were never hit, didn't have time-outs or groundings, or other forms of punishments.


    To be a good parent you need to learn how to parent form books, classes, workshops, online, LLL, college courses, ect.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:52 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Ok Gailll and since youre like Montel Williams there when that doesn't work? Let other people voice their opinions you had your chance on up there
    Mommyof4224

    Comment by Mommyof4224 (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • BTW, my son is very well mannered and polite and has never acted like your son. He rarely got spanked, but, it has happened. He also had a warning, followed by the punishment he was warned of. Unless it was a major no-no and he got an immediate spanking. Again. He acts fine and isn't scared of me. He is 14 and a pretty good kid. Hasn't had many punishments/spankings, so, it's not like I say do it everytime for every reason. It's just that your child has gotten away with so much and gone so long, he may need a reality check and then go to time-outs once authority has been established again.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:01 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Ok I just wanted to add something too... His nana and mamaw when we try to correct him at their house its more like they give him oh poor baby and we get something said.. I can't keep him away from them but us trying to be strict with them doing that its saying different right?
    Mommyof4224

    Comment by Mommyof4224 (original poster) at 12:05 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • OP your child is 16 months. you cannot discipline with time outs or spanking etc. its up to you to be redirecting a child at this age to more approrpiate things. at this age its really up to you to be consistant. ie the bedtime thing. put him in his bed and continue to do so every time he gets up. dont make a big production out of it. just keep putting him back. is it exhausting, annoying etc? HECK YEAH. but its really all you can do with a child this age. and honestly honey, strangers in stores know perfectly well from raising thier own kids that a 16 month old is sometimes a hellion and loud. ignore it all and keep doing what you are doing finish your shopping. dont give negative feedback ignoer the tantrums.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 12:08 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

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