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How can I become more physically attracted to my DH? adult content

Before we got married and had kids we were like intimate at least 4+ times a week. I couldn't wait to be with him. We'd take a road trip and have to stop at a hotel. But after the 1st child maybe twice a week if your lucky. By the 3rd he's luck once a month. Even then I'm only with him so as he can be happy. I'm physically not attracted to him right now. Actually it’s been a long time since I've really wanted him to even touch me. I'm tired from dealing with the kids and the house. At night all I want to do is sleep. What can I do to change this?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • To me personally.
    It doesn't sound like (from what you posted here) your husband's attractiveness level is the problem.

    The problem of not wanting him/sex is due to: feelings of exhaustion, stress, feeling over run caring for the kids and the dailies, stress, too much on your plate and using your emotions dealing with those things, and just simply daily life has taken over and you have nothing left for him & the intimate part of your relationship.
    The best way to deal with such things. Is really gaining some perspective, losing some of the stress, not running around being "supermom" all the time, learning/accepting what can be let go every now and then, and finding some balance between daily life as a mom/wife and being a "woman". It's easy to let life take over and put our relationships and our needs as women on the back burner of life. However, that usually doesn't turn out well, we lose ourselves and our desires easy

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:37 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • You probably need a break from the kids to rekindle your romantic life.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 12:35 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • This is normal. I have 5 kids and wonder where the hell we ever found the time to have sex 5 times lol. There is a difference between being too tired or over booked to have sex and not being attracted to him. Which is it for you. If you still love him and just want more sex, drink an energy drink or something, or do something unexpected like jump his bones out in the garage in the middle of the day. Pop in a dvd for the kids, lock to doors and rattle the fillings in his teeth!

    Answer by salexander at 12:40 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • You need to set a time aside wo the kiddos and just focus on you and your man! Me and my husband were the same way always all over each other then we had a child and while we still are attracted to each other we just never focus on each other because he's always working his butt off to support us so I can be a sahm and I am always trying my hardest to keep the home and kiddos in tip top shape so by the end of the day we just want to sleep. We found ourselves drifting apart in the sence that we don't even talk much. So we decided to do a date night once a month.We have a babysitter and this is going to be our first date night and we are going to dinner and a bar to have some drinks and play pool and darts. but we even thought sometimes we could just rent a movie and stay home but just us. Take time for yourselves sweetie I think it'll help. Good luck and God bless!

    Answer by cleo2582 at 12:45 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • If you aren't attracted to him..maybe it's his appearance? You might want to try to ask him if you can take a nap..then you can stay up late & be with him!

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:35 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I know what you mean but I think for some woman it is that way it's all fresh and new and all you want to do is hang out and have sex.
    my dh has gain 40lbs. and me I gained 30...we started walking and cut out our far so good ;)
    But as far as the attraction try looking back at some old photos of you guys try to reminess the good times and what attracted you to him.
    I know it worked for me I was feeling just like you and I stumbled through some old pictures and I remembered the fun times before you know it I was feeling frisky...So I bed him down that evevning so good he could not believe who I He was like WHO WAS THAT WOMAN IN OUR BDROOM LASTNIGHT??? I just smiled. So do whatever it takes to make it happen even if it means take a few days off of sex that way can be as horny as ever and believe me you'll be glad you did it is worth the wait. Or just let things happen spontaneously that is when extra fun ;)

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:46 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • When Hubs and I are struggling with the sex part of our life or (our relationship in any matter) I personally subscribe to the 30 days of sex and it helps.
    Actually, I am thinking that perhaps it is getting to be time that Hubs and I did this again - we are going down to once a week and I am not happy with that, I enjoy it more like 3 times a week (as long as there are no health issues).

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 2:24 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • try doing something new together...the excitement will transfer over into the bedroom...even do something silly like go to an amusement park without the kids...the endorphine rush from a roller coaster will definately set up the mood for great sex

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 3:57 PM on Jul. 30, 2010