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Would you keep trying to seduce him or just give up? adult content

I keep trying to seduce my husband and give him a good time. I spend hours making surprises and plans; a lace thong under my nightdress, candles in the bedroom when he exits the shower, etc. But he keeps giving me excuses why it is a bad time for him.

He does work 12 hour days and he does have health problems (ulcers and high blood preassure) but that is part of why I am trying to get him to relax and enjoy himself!! Should I keep trying and keep getting denied (destroying my ego btw) or give up on sex?

 
amber710

Asked by amber710 at 3:08 PM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,826 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think most husbands are more turned on by respect, words of affirmation and admiration, words of thanks for the way they provide for the family. Also, I think most husbands would rather pursue than be pursued. The wife gets most attention by being a little mysterious about herself. I think perhaps you are coming on a little too strong, and in so doing, are putting more pressure on him rather than less. Since what you've been doing hasn't been working, why not try a little of the opposite strategy and see how that works out? There is so much more to marriage than the sexual relationship. Maybe if you spend more energy on developing some of the other areas, the sexual part will take care of itself.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:19 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • maybe try laying off a bit. tell him u won't ask for sex for a couple wks but could you snuggle. Give him backrubs, stuff like that. That's what my hubby did for me when I wasn't interested and after a week I was interested in it again. It helps to take the pressure off
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 3:16 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Thanks for answering :-)

    He has blood pressure issues.. Right? You know. He could very well have trouble getting an erection, and really isn't comfortable telling you , and he may not be very comfortable/accepting of it himself. Erections brought on/controlled by blood flow, blood pressure problems (and the meds taken as well) directly effects many men's ability to get an erection. And for some men, when this happens, instead of being honest with themselves & their partners about it, they find a whole lot of excuses not to have sexual intimacy/sexual relations. Not being able to achieve an erection is a pretty devastating thing for some men, for some it can cause them to become depressed about it which in turn adds more negative affects to trying to achieve arousal as well. It's a really twisted cycle for many men. Some men even fell embarrassed and less than a man if they can't get hard.

    Maybe that's the problem
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:24 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • May I ask one simple question?

    Are you doing things to seduce him that you know he likes, finds sexy, and finds seducing. Or . Are you doing things you think he may like or that you like?

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:11 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Things he used to like before he had the stress of work or health problems. He picked out the thong, the scent of the candles, soms lubricant, chocolate sauce, etc. I am just surprising him with the times and ways I use them but he now says no.

    Last night I put the thong on under clothes and had some music ready to do something he has always asked for...a strip dace (which I find wierd) and he said "no, my ulcers are bothering me." All he had to do was watch!
    amber710

    Comment by amber710 (original poster) at 3:14 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • talk to him about it. tell him it hurts you when he turns you down. and maybe back off the subject for a while. tell him that when he is ready to let you know.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:18 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I agree with Lynette, take a break from trying....he'll probably notice that.
    cakright

    Answer by cakright at 3:19 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I would take a break.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 3:23 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Could he be feeling worse than he is letting you know? When does he go for another checkup? Just ideas...will he talk to you about it? GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:25 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I say give him a little time, but he may be feeling pressure to perform. Maybe he still felt the pressure even though he would just have to watch you dance. Not saying that you are putting the pressure on, but I've heard this from guys before.

    every tried just offering a blow job and just going on about how you 'just want to please him' or something?

    if he turns that down, then I would just give him some time. Sounds like he good be in a lot of pain and it's hard to want to even enjoy yourself when you are in bad pain.

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

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