Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

10 Bumps

Do you ever feel like this??

So my husband and I did everything the "right" way. We fell in love, got married than had our son but we are going through some REALLY though times right now. We have people in our families, however, that got pregnant with an "oops" then decided to get married after their children were born and now they "have it all" Buying a house in the mountains, timeshares all around the US, their kids have everything they want, but I am so bitter about this! If they wouldn't have slept together like a bunch of idiots, they wouldn't have all the things they do, but when we do it right, we get crapped on and our son has to go without. Please tell me I am not the only one who has have these thoughts before...?

Bump if you have had these feelings ever, please.

Answer Question
 
HuskerMommy08

Asked by HuskerMommy08 at 4:28 PM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (4,088 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • It could have something to do with what they do for a living, how the economy is where they live, etc. Do both of the partners in these couples work? There are numerous reasons they have more than you do. It is not simply because they had a baby before getting married.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 4:32 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Sometimes it does bother me that other people who don't seem to know what they are doing seem to be so much better off than me. I recently found out that 2 of these couples are so far in debt.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Well I guess you could say I am on the other side of this situation. Hubby and I were 19 and def not planning on having a baby or even getting married for that matter. I was on the depo shot and we got the surprise of our lives. We had it pretty rough in the beginning but we live a great life now and have baby number 3 on the way. I applaud you and your husband for trying to be old fashioned and do everything right and although you may be going through some hard times right now, it will get better. You just have to work together as a family and pull through it. No matter how prepared you think you are, your almost always proven wrong.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I'm the opposite.My sister and I both "oops"ed and got married afterward. My brother, however, dated for 4 years, then got married, now they have their own place - they don't have kids and have ALL this $$ and I'm struggling to pay bills. Sometimes I wish I'd waited, but then I wouldn't have my 3 wonderful boys.
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 4:34 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I agree with specialwingz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 4:36 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Just be thankful for what YOU HAVE. Materials things are not everything.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 4:37 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Yes... My DH comes from a long line of drug addicts and alcoholics. They are all happy to live off the system and weasel their way through life. My DH and I wanted out of that life... Got clean and staid clean... Do our best to have steady LEGAL income and take the steps to do our part in society and for the world... YET, his family treats us like we are some kind of charity case. They are making $4000 selling their Rx meds, getting full healthcare coverage by the state,, plus $700/mo in food stamps and I don't even know what in cash assistance... My DH has been out of work since Nov, and has resorted to doing odd jobs and whatnot so we can get by. Yet, we make to much money for the help & my DH needs surgery, I'm pregnant & we have two kids... Seriously? I almost wish we could be okay with working the system and living off the grid like they do. We struggle to pay the electric & they just got a flat screen. How is this fair?
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:37 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • The only time I felt this way was a few months after I got married. I had gotten pregnant immediately and miscarried. My sister-in-law got pregnant a few months later, then got married and had a healthy baby. While I was happy for her, I also had some crazy jealousy going on.
    Desi_Momof4

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I don't mean to say they have what they do because of the baby, just that if they hadn't had the kid, they wouldn't be together. The women in both cases have said this to be numerous times. How "lucky" it was that they got pregnant. It just upsets me that in my eyes what they did was wrong and here I am doing everything right according to our beliefs and they have everything they want for their life. But, my beliefs also say to not be greedy or spiteful or envy others... I guess no one is perfect
    HuskerMommy08

    Comment by HuskerMommy08 (original poster) at 4:39 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • There's a name for that feeling you know...
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 5:31 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN