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I'm finding it hard to be around my sister, I love her dearly but usually end up being upset after spending time with her.

We are both in our mid to late 20's, married, I have 3 kids and she is expecting her first. I don't feel that she like's my kids. When they were babies sure, but now that they are growing up not so much. She has this unpleasant exasperated look on her face when my kids are around. I wish they could have more of a relationship with her, they love her husband and likewise. She can't seem to deal with the chaos that sometimes comes with children. They are not brats that I let run wild but they are children and they will do things that may not be acceptable, but I can't teach them somethings until they present themselves. Since they moved in after the wedding they have invited me and dh(no kids)over but we couldn't make it and we have not received an invite since, this was over a year ago. She tells me often about the company they have over and what great people her inlaws are but when she's with us I feel like it's a burden.

 
AmandaH321

Asked by AmandaH321 at 4:56 PM on Jul. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • Here's a sad fact - being related by blood does not make you best friends. You are both growing, changing people, and sounds like kids have certainly changed the dynamic. You will always be sisters...but it sounds as if your life paths are taking different directions. Let her go her way. None of the drama, or fighting or ugliness...it might just be time to accept the fact that you are drifting apart. There is no sense in continuing in any relationship that makes you miserable, or makes you feel bad about yourself. I speak from painful experience...it's better to just have the obligatory sister thing than to try to be friends with sisters who are so different.
    mommyx9

    Answer by mommyx9 at 8:34 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • You sound like me. I always felt my sister ignored my kids. It wasn't really the case. She just did not know them very well because I had moved away and they hardly saw her. she is a little anal at times about the noise or the mess the kids made, etc. she eventually chilled out after she had her own baby.

    Just be patient, it will get better.

    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 4:59 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • give it some time, after her 1st child is born she'll realize how hard being a mom is and respect you ALOT more :P
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 5:00 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Con't
    She lent us a dvd a while ago and it got scratched. I offered to replace it and she said no. I asked to borrow one the other night and she said she was leary of it because of the condition of the last one. She has often said things to me, like she dosen't like my dog, who is a sweet timid little thing and made me feel like crap for bringing her to a picinc, in a park.
    I find that since she has been married she is "better" than us. She makes my mom feel this way too. It really sucks.
    Sorry this is more of a rant than a question but I'm feeling really frustrated with my relationship with her. I had told her that I was hurt that I wasen't included in her wedding preparations and she said she wished I had told her sooner. I found out last night that she will be having a baby shower at the church, we will have no family one because we all go to the same church and I wasen't included in that either.
    I'm hurt by her
    AmandaH321

    Comment by AmandaH321 (original poster) at 5:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • I tell myself that she'll change after having the baby, but in the mean time it still sucks.
    Also she feels that her child will be perfect and not behave the way my kids do. She hasen't said it in so many words but that's the jist of it.
    AmandaH321

    Comment by AmandaH321 (original poster) at 5:03 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • ""Also she feels that her child will be perfect and not behave the way my kids do. She hasen't said it in so many words but that's the jist of it."

    Don't worry, reality will sink on on THAT one, if not, she will just ignore whatever her kid does wrong and pretend that it's ok anyway.

    Sometimes, you just have to accept that people, including family, are a pain in the butt. My brother is my brother, but if he weren't, I would not associate with him an any way, shape or form, because he is a jerk. I just roll my eyes and go on with it. I can't change him. That's who he is, but he's still family.

    You can either accept it or just cut her out of your life.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:12 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • Maybe after she has a baby who grows up to be a child she will see things differently. Since you say she is having her first child, she hasn't had a lot of practice interacting with children as of yet. Perhaps once she has one of her own, she will change having been a mother as well.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 5:18 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

  • the sad part is, when her kid gets your kids age, she'll probly have this image of your kids in her head and still think your kids were worse than hers...

    at least you don't have a bratty 11yr old brother who never listens to you and eats all the food in the fridge anytime throughout the day and night, no meal times and then complains we have nothing to eat. like right now! dinner will be ready soon and he's eating cereal cuz his mom just brought milk home!

    sorry i'm just seriously mad at him right now, bratty, never listens to anyone, not even his mom, type of kid. if i could, i'd slap him.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 5:30 PM on Jul. 30, 2010

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