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disturbing behavior

Lately my 5 1/2 year old son has been acting out in ways he never has before. He is constantly telling me that I'm so mean and that I should listen to everything he says(as in follow all his instructions). And when I refuse to let him do something he wants(for ex. have candy at 9am or stay up late to watch tv) he will say how I don't love him or he will say he is going to leave. He even went as far as to tell me last night that I would miss him if he left and died in the street?!?!? (I have no idea where he gets this stuff from)
He is normally a great little boy just stubborn at times!

I'm worried and I don't know what's going on with him, we used to have a great relationship. Any advice or ideas of what to do to fix this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jul. 31, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • Don't give him the response he is looking for or expecting (typically a negative one). Instead just remind him that you love him no matter what he says.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:29 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • It would sound a bit disturbing, BUT it wounds more as if he's simply trying to manipulate you. Is there someone around him that may talk like this? I wouldn't be too worried, I would just take it as a reason to step up and be less tolerant of this kind of behavior. Put your foot down; I said no candy this late, I'm the boss...if he starts to say things like how you wouldn't miss him-totally ignore it. He is trying to play you to get what he wants and you've got to nip this in the bud before he gets it set into his adult behavior.

    Answer by nappeal at 12:30 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Honestly, it's a phase - sort of. He may be hearing some of these things from school or day care of friends and neighbors. He's testing two things right now: how much you love him and what can he get away with. At this age children are learning how to be manipulative so he'll push his limits. You don't need to give in to him or tell him you love him all the time, right now is the time to set limits and boundaries and stick to them. Touch him every chance ou can, wether a hug, holding his hand, rubbing his back, putting your hand on his shoulder when you talk to him. touch does amazing things and will make him feel more secure. They do eventually grow out of it as long as you don't give in or start to spoil him. He doesn't think like an adult, he doesn't realize what he's saying nor does he understand what dying means fully.

    Answer by Cassarah at 12:30 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Please read the book Beyond Consequences Logic and Control.
    Fantastic book!

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:32 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • your son is testing you next time he play this with you try to play along if he says he running away tell him how much you will miss him
    one night let him stay up late he will feel the pain the next day.all five of my kids ran away one even took the dog.he will out grow this soon
    give it time all kids go through this

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:34 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Everyone sounds spot on with this one, I went through this and still go through it from time to time with mine as well. Mostly my fault though as when it came to discepline I never followed through, a hard lesson I learned, so he felt like he could say or do anything, throw the biggest tantrums and never get into trouble or Mom would give in.....he saw my weakness and used it to his advantage....I struggle to this day with him because of that. GL =)

    Answer by Liz30355 at 12:41 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • If he plays with other children in his age bracket he may be repeating things he's heard elsewhere. I think I would compromise on some things and not allow other things. Unless something really is bothering him and he's just upset altogether,

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 1:02 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • It's a phase, he's testing to see if you can be manipulated and testing his own boundaries and comfort levels. Stay calm, stay consistent, don't feed into his attention-seeking attempts at manipulation.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 1:03 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Yeah, everyone is right. He is manipulating you and playing the martyr, which is completely normal at this age. My 5 year old tries that with me sometimes too. Just don't feed into it and eventually it will pass.

    Answer by slw123 at 9:14 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

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