Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My sister told her daughter that she couldn't get married until she graduated from college in 2012. But her daughter went against her wishes and plans to get married in April of next year. She is kicking her out of the house over this. Do you think this is right?

 
amessageofhope

Asked by amessageofhope at 1:33 AM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 23 (17,397 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • No, it's not right. She's over 18; why does mom feel that she gets to dictate when daughter gets married? That's the daughter's decision, as it's HER life.
    Kassey713

    Answer by Kassey713 at 1:09 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • She's over 18, she can get married when ever she wants. If Mom is going to be that petty it's mom's loss!! Hope she still gets invited to the wedding, but it's her gamble there. So sad.

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 1:37 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • well, if she's over 18 and is getting married she should move in with her man IMO, why should her mother support her, an engaged, soon to be married, woman.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:37 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I can understand her concern for her dd's education, but I think she should have gone about it a nicer way. While she is still her "baby", she's an adult, and should be spoken to and treated as such. Instead of telling her when she's allowed to get married, she should have just expressed her concern and the reasons behind it. When you treat a young adult like a child, they are going to make the most irrational "grown-up" decision just to prove mommy wrong. It's human nature lol hopefully they can all work through this and she still focuses on her education and goals while maintaining a happy marriage.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 1:49 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • If she's over 18 she can get married whenever she wants and it's perfectly fine for mom to not allow her to live at home anymore and to cute off all financial support. If you are old enough and ready enough for marriage then your are old enough and ready enouggh for all the responsibilities that go with it. Your parents are no longer responsible for you. My sons knew that they were responsible for their own selves once they got married/became parents. We had/have no issues helping them while they are in college but once they get married and have a family, they are on their own. No married person should expect their parents to pay for college. if the parent wants to, great but if the parent doesn't want to support a married person then that is their right.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 3:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • have to agree with Morgain on this one
    mscamp0235

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 1:39 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Is the mother paying for the college? If so, I can understand why she's feeling this way. If she's paying for her education, I can see wanting her to wait. However, if she's an adult, it's really not up to her mom. As for kicking her out of the house, I don't see how that will help anything.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:37 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I am 47 and my father did the same thing to me. I ended up not finishing school because we couldn't afford it. My husband to be had a aparment. We had made a budget for me to finish school then get a job. I had a year to go too. My dad and I don't speak and it is just heart breaking. We have tried many times over the years and nothing... listen to me Nothing can repair the bad decisions made on my part and his. If I had it to do all over again. I wouldn't get married till I finished school. In the end I really need the education more than the husband. As he has passed suddenly when he was 32 and left me to support myself. It will take many years before either of them can see the light. Just pray for them and hope no one dieds before the fences can be mended. It makes it so much worse.
    Wittyprncess

    Answer by Wittyprncess at 9:12 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • It is wrong to force her wishes on her, even worst kicking her out.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:44 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • If the parents are paying for her college, then they have the right to put conditions on continued support. If the girl can't wait until she finishes school, then she and her husband-to-be need to figure out how to afford for her to finish school. Once you get married, I think you're pretty much on your own. I've told the same thing to my kids.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 9:41 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN