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2 Bumps

I made a mistake, how do i fix it?

Last night i expressed to my husband that I wanted to feel a wee bit special....like if he did things with me or just did something for me that a husband does. Well we had a fight bc he says that I was demanding about it...but in the same sentence he says he cant read my mind. So if I ask or tell him what I need he gets mad or tells me he wont do it bc I asked......but if I dont ask or tell him he doesnt know....I am lost with this one lol.....So he goes to work, and I call and ask him if he wants steak or chicken for our lunch today, and he answers the phone "what do you want" and is still mad at me...I just want to fix this, and wisj I could be a good wife....I want to know what I did wrong, and how I can fix it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • It sounds as though he may have some issues. I didn't see where you did anything wrong. Husband's can not read minds so how are they going to ever know what their wives want if the wives can't tell them? You telling him what you want or how you want something shouldn't have made him mad. So he can't do something because you asked? Maybe he has something going on with himself that he may need to get checked out?! It sounds as though he is using this to avoid something. I really don't know how you can fix it when I really don't think you did anything wrong. If anything he owes you " I'm sorry" not the other way around.
    lil_Army_Wife05

    Answer by lil_Army_Wife05 at 9:44 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • i agree 100% with pp
    oppsdiditagain

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 9:45 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • ((hugs)) I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and worried. It sounds as though he has some other issues besides this one. Someone that he talks to has commented about bossy wives, maybe, or there is pressure at work or in his life that is causing him to stress out. You should be able to tell him what you need. He should not be offended. If you declared it in a demanding voice, maybe, instead of a calm voice, then it may have rubbed him the wrong way, but there's no reason for him to continue on with the anger. If you did do it in a demanding way then a brief apology ("I'm sorry I was mean the other day, I'll try to do better.") and let it drop. But let's say that you were calm when you said it. He is over-reacting for some reason. Something isn't right in his life- it may have nothing to do with you. A medical exam for him would be recommended, and then counseling. Best wishes to you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:45 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I see that lil_army_wife has the same thoughts that I did. Assuming you weren't demanding when you told him, it doesn't make sense that he'd react the way he did unless there is something else going on- some physical problem, some problem in another aspect of his life.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:47 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Oh crap that is unfair. I have to say very unfair. When he is done being mad. Ask him if you can have an adult conversation. Tell him your not judging him, he is a wonderful husband, and you love him totally. I want our relationship to be better. Some times I just need a special some thing. I tell my husband 'do you have something to say to me"... He never catches on... then I ask him "do you still love me"... I also ask him "do you still think I am pretty?"...
    We have been married for 25 years men don't really get it. When my husband kisses me he does this deep sigh, I take it as boredom. He is sighing because it feels so nice and good. What I am trying to say is that some times we have to take what we can get. If you have a good man and a husband that is your friend that may be what you get now. Things can change and your relationship will evolve. So don't let this frustrate you. Tell him you love in and you want to...
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:48 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Grow closer.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:48 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I would first do something for yourself and maybe sit him down and talk about what you want . I would also find ways to make yourself feel special even if you just go out and swim or have a day out of the house and sit down and talk to your DH about what the real issue is.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:49 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • From what you said, you didn't do anything wrong and have nothing to change. He is the one with the issues and he is the one who needs to work on his attitude towards you. It sounds like he is taking his moods out on you. I would suggest couple's counseling so the both of you can learn what is wrong with him and how to express feelings in a calm and nonaccusing manner.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:50 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • He says that he rebells when people tell him what to do... but i tried explaining to him, I am not trying to tell him what to do just that I would like a lil bit more attention sometimes. Not all the time bc hes not that kinda guy, but to at least let me know that I am important to him and everything....I know this has nothing to do with this situation but ill txt him every now and again and let him know that I am thinking about him or that I miss him and hell reply "ok I dont see y you miss me when I dont miss you..: I mean isnt that cruel....or I work late at night and if I get home later bc I am super busy, (also I work outta town) I will call just to let him know that I am on my way home and he gets mad. I just dont want him to worry if I dont come home till 4 am......well he says you dont need to call, your a grown women and I know youll be ok, you need to let me sleeeeep! ugh

    a-boys-world

    Answer by a-boys-world at 9:50 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • You did nothing wrong, but communicate to him what you would like to see, his anger was uncalled for.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:55 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

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