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2 Bumps

Daughter, age 21, moved home after being on her own for the last year. Does not feel she needs to help out with housework or cooking. DH and I have been trying to be patient and request chores that need to be done while we are at work. If these chores are done at all, they are done quickly and poorly. Suggestions welcome.


Asked by momx3gx1b at 9:59 AM on Jul. 31, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,488 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • It's your home and should be maintained the way you want it. Approach her calmly and have a heart to heart discussion about YOUR home and how you want it taken care of. It shouldn't be any different than when she was gone. I wouldn't worry about her room. That might have to be where you overlook things. But the rest of the home is different.

    Personally, I wouldn't push the cooking. But that's just me. If she wants to contribute grocery money and come up with meal ideas with you, then she shares what you and your husband have. If she doesn't want to contribute to both then she's on her own. And if she isn't there for a meal her share gets put in frig. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 11:08 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Yes she does and she needs to be paying rent and utilities. She is an ADULT and if she wants to be living at home she needs to contribute to the household. That would be one of the conditions of an adult child living in my home. They will also be working or going to school or both. The money they paid in rent would be set aside and given to them as a downpayment or escrow for an apartment or house. NO free rides unless they are sick or injured.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:02 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Exactly what tyfry7496 said.

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 10:04 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Time to sit down with her and draw up a contract. If she is to live in your home, then these are the things she must do. Be specific about what you want her to do. Have her sign the contract just like she would have to sign a lease. Then it will be up to you to also decide what the consequences will be for failure to abide by the contract. Your house--your rules. She is a guest, and she needs to remember that and act like she would in the household of any other host. My guess is that she's been overindulged before, and she expects that treatment to continue. It is up to you and her dad to make the rules and to enforce them. Otherwise, she can look for another place to reside.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:05 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I agree with tyfry 7496 too

    Answer by Momof4137 at 10:07 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Tough Love is needed. If she is living under your roof she needs to abide by all of your rules. If not give her a short time frame (few months) in which she can stay.

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 10:58 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • When I moved back in I paid rent and helped with the chores. If she cant help she needs to go. There is no reason in having added stress.

    Answer by justme581 at 3:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • If she is in school maybe you should suggest she moves into a dorm.

    Answer by babyfat5 at 6:21 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Did she do chores before she moved out? she is probably doing the same she did before moving out, just have a talk with her and tell her you need for her to help out more.

    Answer by older at 10:02 AM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Does she have a job? Does she go to school? I would tell her that she needs to start helping or get out. I would also tell her that she needs to have a job and/or be in school. You can also make her pay rent.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 10:04 AM on Jul. 31, 2010