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How do you get your older child to quit picking on your younger child

I have 2 boys, a 7 yr old and a 2 yr old, and a little girl on the way. It seems that since school got out in June for the summer my 7 yr old has been so mean to his little brother. We are only in a 2 bedroom for the moment so they have to share a room, and my 2 yr old has back pains due to having a severe case of scoliosis. We have always tried to make sure that they each have their own toys age appropriate for their own ages and of course my 7 yr old gets much more privelages than my 2 yr old such as computer time and getting to have sleep overs and stuff. I just don't know how to deal with it, he is so mean to his brother, he takes his toys away from him and won't give them back, he tries to restrain his brother and is just being a bully. It barely started in June, before that he was such a loving brother, I am wondering if he is watching a friend or what...when he gets grounded for whatever he did he throws fits and help??

Answer Question

Asked by mommatink83 at 4:54 PM on Jul. 31, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (102 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • He's probably just bored. has a bunch of energy bundled up and needs to let it out. Lots of outside activities should help. maybe swim lessons or hockey or something.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:56 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • IDK, but could you tell me how to get the 2 y/o to stop picking on the 7 y/o? He hates his big brother, and is so mean to him!!!

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 4:57 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I wouldn't know on that one, my 2 yr old loves his big brother despite him picking on him, he is always trying to give him hugs and telling him he loves him, he practically idols his big brother.

    Comment by mommatink83 (original poster) at 5:00 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I would withhold whatever is most important to him to get his cooperation. But then you have to follow through. Is he getting enough one on one time with you and DH? And praise when he does things right? GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Try to nip it in the bud, tell them it is unacceptable behavior. And they can not get away with it, make sure he is being disciplined for it and don't give in. You don't want it to get worse.

    Answer by QandA at 5:06 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Just don't tolerate it. Instead of thinking of him as his brother, think of him as his friend. Would you allow your older child to treat a friend that way in your house? Then it shouldn't be tolerated for the little brother either. Just tell him we don't treat our friends this way and punish the behavoir accordingly.

    Answer by karamille at 5:18 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Because at the end of the day... we really do want our boys to consider their brother a friend. :)

    Answer by karamille at 5:19 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I often find that when my kids begin annoying each other it is due to boredom. They are irritated by not having something to do. Doesn't make any sense, but somehow, that is how kids are hardwired. My children are 13, 14, & 15 and still pick on each other when they are bored. At least its easier for me to give them things to do now, but until they grow up and move out... breath deeply and woosaw! :o)

    Answer by MzZiXiu4U at 6:32 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • You really need to nip it in the bud pronto!!!! Sure, there's a certain amount of teasing that will go on between kids but the taking his toys & not giving them back it's wrong. Every time you catch him doing those types of things he needs to be punished!! Time out---let him scream his head off he needs to learn. You also need to catch him being good to the little one. Praise him for his good deeds as well as punish for the bad things. Stress that you are all one family and you love each other and treat each other with kindness and respect. He has to learn those things or he'll continue with the negative behavior. I remember how much I was tormented by my brother. I know that as a parent I will NEVER allow that stuff to happen. My parents put my brother who's 7 years older in charge of me. A child should feel safe in their own home & not be tormented. You need to put a stop to it NOW.

    Answer by Miss2010 at 8:15 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • he is an older sibling they will not get along some times and they will be best of friends at other times. Just remeber the mother's curse- point your finger at him and say he will have a child JUST LIKE HE IS

    Answer by mamak57 at 11:02 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

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