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Would you consider this cheating? Extended version.... adult content

Me and the other girl got beers bumped on us and we went to take a shower. My SO came in and got into the shower with us. I whispered to him that I wasn't comfortable with it he was like just relax it's just for fun. I said fine but you can't actually have sex with her. He agreed. So then things started and after a while I whispered to him again and said I wanna stop. He just said it's okay babe. Right after this I felt sick like I was gonna puke. Probably a mix of the emotions and alcohol so I went into the bathroom. When I came back they were having sex. Nobody even bothered to see if I was okay. He was not really drunk he had only had a few beers. So I got mad and said what the hell? I never said this was okay. So the next day he said he swears he didn't hear me say he could not have sex with her. I know he did. He then admitted they slept together 3 years prior before I was with him. Please don't be mean I am very hurt.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • I would leave his ass.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:29 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I definately think that this is cheating. Threesomes should not be something considered because it can cross so many lines. I am so sorry that you are hurt. I think that you have a valid reason to be hurt. I am sorry.

    Answer by hsmominky at 5:30 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I do consider this cheating. I feel so bad for you because it must have been a terrible situation to walk in on. I also think it's even worse because they had already slept together. If I were you, I'd be wondering what your SO may also be doing behind your back. Not just with her, but anyone. It seemed like it was too easy for him to just sleep with this girl. You probably feel betrayed by both of them and your friendship and relationship will never be the same. I wish you the best of luck. And, take time to sort through your feelings on what happened. Don't be quick to forgive.

    Answer by B_Vail at 5:31 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I would kick him out immediately. There is no way in hell I would be able to stay with him if that happened. As a matter of fact I would be so pissed that he would be lucky if I didn't seriously hurt him.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 5:31 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Oh yeah that's definitely cheating. You made it clear to him. Even if you didn't he is with you so he still should't have

    Answer by dragonlady44 at 5:33 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • k well THIS would be cheating, hes full of it...and it would take some extreme measures to get me to stay! Best of luck to you hun, im sure you need a shoulder..........

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 5:35 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Definately cheating

    Answer by QandA at 5:39 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • YES!!!!

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 5:55 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • it is absolutely cheating...i cant imagine why he would have even thought it was okay to jump in the shower unless he was invited. there is definately something up with this guy. i would cut my losses and get out of there asap...this man has no respect for you or your relationship. im guessing there have been many other times when he did something you specifically asked him not to and you let him get away with it, so he expects to get away with it this time too. the fact that you did not instantly kick him out tells me you're used to people taking advantage of you. its time to stand up for've got to respect yourself before anyone else will.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 6:26 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Yes it is and he knows it too.

    Answer by jackdaw at 6:26 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

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