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3 Bumps

How do I manage financially when I was always a S.A.H.M?

I am in my late 20's and have been married for 9 yrs to someone the same age.I have a 14 yr old special needs son from a previous relationship and we have a 6 yr old daughter together.I have my G.E.D. and nothing more in the line of education or work history.My husband makes an excellent living as a tree company owner but the past few months he has slipped into a video poker habit that has us broke,he has also been using drugs.I have to walk on eggshells most days when hes here and he is completely non existent in our daughters life.I told him that I was moving until things were under control and putting my daughter in a public school(I cant afford private school tuition without him) and did a history search on the computer and found out that he is leaving me tomorrow to move to another state with $500.00 in the bank.I am panicking bc I have no college backround or job skills and am scared my kids and I will be homeless,advice

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Contact social services ASAP. You should qualify for help with rent, food stamps, etc... You will probably have to move into an apartment for section 6 ( I think that's what its called) and your son should qualify for social security benefits. These programs were put in place to help people who have fallen on hard times - which you have. Get your necessities squared away the get yourself back in school for a degree program that interests you. If a few years when you are done, you will be supporting your family, have a nice life with your kiddos and you will quite proud of yourself. Good luck with your new life!

    Answer by karamille at 6:10 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • He can't possibly leave and start a life with just $500 in the bank. Not possible. He is trying to make you panic.

    Think about this, where can anyone pick up and just get a life in a new state on $500? No place I know. He'd have to be using the business to do this and let's figure he's got 5,000 or 15,000 at least.

    March to the lawyer and have a this documented. Get his history on a file as a "save page as". Under files. If you have a question I'll get this to make sense for you.

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:15 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • You can get any job skill or just put some O.T. in on holidays and make up for losses, all new people get into good better sticking jobs with taking over sick time and holiday times. You may need to get a friend to sit, or have some relatives chip in, or just go to work only during school hours. A good job with good pay is hard to find, but not non-existent. It's real hard at first, just .........don't let it ruin your sights. Keep looking . At first also it may only be a few hours. Look hard and ask questions all over, and at all different positions. Meals on wheels always hires, and pays pretty well. 8>50 per hour to start. And quick raises.

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:19 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Other jobs are in service work that always look for new people this time of year, back to school,

    Meals on wheels
    Day cares
    caretaking elderly/ or errand running
    Pet shops
    Toys r US
    Children's playplaces
    ALL THESE PLACES WILL HIRE WITH YOU AS IS, AND CONSIDERED easy entry level, and will give raises with you commitment. If you are just showing up, they are usually happy to take you in and train you right there.

    I used to just do nails, read, and set up the dining hall, bingo, and push wheel chairs, and got paid. This is in demand due to some people really want to go up the ladder as a nurse or lpn.

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:26 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • You can get some ideas for jobs at and They are 2 websites where people are looking for childcare, housekeeping, petcare, etc. You search by zipcode and you'll be able to see who is looking for help in your area. Sometimes you have to click on childcare to get to the other category choices. The fact that you are a mother is great experience. Message me if I can be of further help with these websites. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 7:14 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • He is leaving YOU with $500 in the bank or he is leaving with that much? If there is more in the bank now I'd get online and open an account (I know Bank of America will open one for you online) and transfer as much of the money as you can. If he has already depleted the account then I'd make plans to go to an attorney next week (Legal Aid if you have to) and file abandonment papers and child support. Take his tax returns to show how much money he's used to making. I don't know if you can apply for alimony with only nine years invested. Ask your attorney or check your state statutes online. Can you file for SSI for your son? Surely you get CS for the son so you won't be totally broke. I'd see what Public Assistance offers. They may offer free daycare if you return to school and learn a trade. Just see what they offer then make a plan from there. You can do this. Mine left me with 3 kids and NO money &I figured it out. U can 2

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:13 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Hello everyone,
    I am the poster of this question...he withdrew all of the money in the bank except $500.

    Answer by jordan28 at 8:23 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • You need legal advice ASAP and contact social services. Best of luck...

    Answer by lizard111 at 8:35 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • call a lawyer. now. take the kids. go to your mom's for a while. file a restraining order to keep custody, otherwise he can take them too.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:08 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Fast food jobs are out there as well, and give merit raises based on performance. Once you have a job, you can start looking into educational opportunities. Only through education will you be able to improve your situation. A GED alone is not enough.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:18 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

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