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OK I want some veiws on some thing a friend made me feel kind of bad about.

Alright my oldest is starting kindergarten. Well I was talking to my friend and she always give me good advise. This time though I'm not so sure. Well I'm going to get my dd school supplies which I already can't afford, but I'm going to make it happen. However I'm not getting her school school clothes. She already has more than enough clothes that fit and she has never worn. I don't see the reason in spending money I don't have. So my friend says she is a little girl in her first day of school and if I can't afford them I should go to a donation center. I explained that since she doesn't need them I can't reasonably take clothes from others that do. So she tells me if I don't I'm setting her up for failure. That she is going to be teased for not having this years fad, and that other parents will look at me poorly for my kid not having brand new clothes. It actually made me feel bad.
What do you think?


Asked by hot-mama86 at 6:43 PM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (55)
  • I think that sounds lame--what your friend is saying, I mean. If you have decent clothes that cover everything they're supposed to cover, then you're good. I don't like to send my daughters to school in their best new clothes anyway, because they get food on them in the cafeteria, dirt on them at the playground, and paint on them in art class. Your daughter will be just fine.

    Answer by vicesix at 6:46 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • if she has decent clothes that fit her already she will be fine. I agree with you there is no reason to get help from somewhere when donations are at an all time low and another child could go with out literally any clothes.
    Maybe buy her one new outfit for the first day but I honestly wouldn't worry about this.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 6:47 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Don't feel bad about it, I would do the same thing you're doing if I was in your shoes.

    It would make me upset if someone told me that If I didn't do something that I would be setting my child up for Failure. That is BS. She has no right to say that.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 6:47 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I'd say your friend worries way too much about other ppls opinions and keeping up with the Joneses. As a mother you do what you can, and having the latest trends in clothing doesn't really matter this age to the kids so much as competing parents. Hope that wasn't too harsh..but really, your friend shouldn't be putting you down for not being able to provide your daughter with brand name clothing.

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 6:47 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I think that is so obnoxious of her to say that to you. Take care of your child the way you want. She is the mother who will do the things she is talking about and you are not. You will teach your child to be compassionate to others and she will teach hers to be a snob. Sorry......didn't realize how angry this made me! Probably because I HAD a "friend" like this.

    Answer by elizabr at 6:47 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • you should not feel bad. If your daughter is going to be in kindergarten they don't care what the "fashion" fads are at this age. (This will happen later though) If your child has nice clothes that are not stained and never worn then let her wear them it is not a big deal. I am a teacher and as long as they are clothed appropriately for the weather that is what we care about. She will not be teased for this as the other kids won't care. You are not setting her up for failure you are teaching her a valuable lesson (if you continue) that "fashion" isn't everything. My mom when I was growing up did buy me second hand clothes which I still like doing today even though I have the money for "new" clothes

    Answer by ntschetter at 6:47 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • don't worry about it. your kid is not going to scared for life because she doesn't have new clothes if she has nice clothes that are in good shape. if the parents look down on you for that than you don't want anything to do with them anyway. and 5 year olds arn't going to care if your dd's clothes arn't new. my daughter will be wearing clothes that are almost new that were handed down to her. my sons never had brand new clothes either and never had a problem.

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 6:49 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I don't buy new clothes for my daughter for school either. We buy only what we need. You did what was right, not only morally but as a parent. It is irresponsible for a parent to teach their child that they are entitled to have things that they cannot afford. Your little girl will be just fine and I'm sure she'll have lots of good friends.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:51 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • You know, when I was a kid I NEVER remember anyone ever making fun of anyone else's clothes...unless they were dirty. Keep in mind too that I went to tons of different schools in different cities (all in South Cali though).

    Answer by Deathlilly at 6:52 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Don't listen to her. As long as your daughter has good clothes to wear to school and with some of them never being worn before, I don't see why you need to spend the money either.

    I don't care about what this year's fashion is and neither do my kids. You aren't setting her up to fail just because she doesn't have the biggest and best. You are teaching her to be an individual and not do things just because everyone is doing them. School supplies are more important than new clothes.


    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:50 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

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