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Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)
2 Bumps

Temper Tantrums

How long do they last...My DD is 3 1/2 and it seems she has been in this stage since she was just 1...I've tried time outs and they seemed to work at first but now her tantrums have escalated to down right screaming fits and time outs do not work. I've tried a spank here and there but really do not want to go that route, especially when she reminds me and i quote "Mommy we're not supposed to hit people" all the while sobbing....I've tried just ignoring but i think i'm gonna move on to sending her to her room or a tantrum spot...Just curious as to how long this stage is supposed to last. How old was your dd or ds when things were calm and quiet :-)

 
blrusso

Asked by blrusso at 9:32 PM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • I ignore it but my husband gave in so much we now send her to her room. It's not a punishment and I don't think a tantrum should be punished, kids this age don't know how to express what they are feeling any other way. We have to teach them to use their words and that it is ok to not be happy they can't get or do what they want. Anyway, we send her to her room and tell her when she is done she can come out and talk to us, works for us and the tantrums aren't as much anymore. Redirecting helps too, like Britty said, her son played with his toys and stopped the tantrum.
    tazdvl

    Answer by tazdvl at 2:47 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • So went though that and sent him to his room but then when i wasnt looking he'd play with his toys! Now he is in karate and I have him do sit ups and push ups. It ends up getting his mind off of what he did and he has to conectrate but he kind of likes it but no more tantrums I have a 3.5 yr olg too
    Brittyt4you_

    Answer by Brittyt4you_ at 9:37 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • It will last as long as she thinks it is an effective way to get what she wants. To end them, you have to A) teach her that tantrums are COMPLETELY USELESS, a waste of energy, and do NOT get her what she wants and B) teach her MUCH more effective ways to get what she wants and cope with disappointment. Like another poster said, she needs to learn how to express her feelings verbally instead of physically, and you are right that spanking is not going to teach her that at all. Firstly, as soon as she starts a tantrum, walk away from her. Leave the room completely but don't even acknowledge her. If you try to send her out of the room to her oom or somewhere else, you are acknowledging her and that's what she wants. When you finally see a tiny break, even if she is just catching her breath to look and see where you are, very calmly say, "When you would like to tell me what is wrong, I'll listen." Repeat as needed but stand firm!
    DanielleB10

    Answer by DanielleB10 at 3:05 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I dont think it ever ends, lol.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 9:46 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)

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