Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need potty training help...

My 3 1/2 yr old dd is terrified of pooping on the potty. She is completely potty trained otherwise. Even no night- time wetting. When she has to have a bowel movement she will ask for a diaper. Our ped. told us to not refuse the diaper because it can cause major constipation and then in turn hurt worse when she does go. We've tried 'bribing' her, we've tried a sticker/rewards system, etc. (when she was being potty trained she had a bit of constipation and I think it hurt a little when she went on the toilet, so now she thinks it will hurt) Sometimes she'll even go 'on accident' in the potty, and when we make a huge deal, and reward her..again- the next day she wants a diaper. We even make her go (in her diaper) standing in the bathroom which the pediatrician suggested. Anyone have this problem, or have any ideas??? She'll be FOUR in December. I have not had this problem with any of my other kids!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • i have had this problem. i have 2 children that are fully potty trained peeing wise but absolutely refuses to go pooh in the toilet. my childrens developmental dr just told me to let them choose when to do it. because if i push them they have a chance of rebellin and going back to not going in the potty at all. keep up the praising for when she does go even by accident, and just let he decide when she is ready. one thing we do at home is after they go in their pullup. is we take the pullup off and dump it in the toilet and say this is where it goes not in the diaper. but do not press the issue past that. i wish you luck

    Answer by ajs_autism at 7:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I remember when i was little i was super afraid of pooping on the potty. I couldn't have been more than 2 1/2 -3yrs old. I didn't understand why the potty ATE my poopoo. Don't ask me why - but peeing was no problem. I guess i didn't Love my pee as much =) lol -anyway- Maybe for some reason she is AFRAID of poopin in the potty. If it is fear based and she will tell you that then maybe you can help her work thru her fears. Our almost 3 yr old just started poopin in the potty 2 days ago, but he WILL NOT go if anyone is in the Bathroom. He is just modest I guess. Maybe she gets self conscience of people watching her? Hope this helps. I guess the good news is by the time she's 16 this won't be a problem anymore in fact u'll prob wish it was the biggest prob... lol

    Answer by mommyof5boys543 at 7:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • You can buy an over the counter "laxative" called kondrumul. We had to use it for my Grandson because he was a "poop holder". He would hold it so long that it hurt to go. What Kondrumul does is it lubricates the anas so it is impossible to hold. The child will quickly learn that pooping in the potty is painless and no more poppy diapers. Ask your pediatrician. We were taking my Grandson to a pediatric GI specialist and she recommended this treatment.

    Answer by coug70_99 at 8:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I wouldn't refuse her the diaper either... just make her responsible for changing out of it, cleaning up and taking care of the diaper... after a while she might learn that its alot more work to use the diaper then the potty.... Also try not making any deal at all out of her going poop by accident... also perhaps letting her not flush the toilet and then flushing it for her later would help. Kids sometimes develope fears about themselves going down the potty and solid waste matter is much more visable then liquid waste matter

    Answer by tocreatefire at 9:21 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I'm in the same boat. My 3 1/2 year old won't go in the potty. She has before, and I think she even knows she should. HOWEVER - she won't. We'll have potty training days, and I'll sit her on her training potty every 10-15 minutes. And instead of going on the potty, as soon as she gets up she goes. I make her take off her pull up when she goes in it, and she throws it away and puts a new one on. She doesn't mind. She simply refuses to go in the potty - despite the fact that she knows how. (Occasionally she'll go into the bathroom, get a stool, hop on the potty and just go. But this only happens about once every few weeks. The rest of the time she goes right after she gets off the potty, despite us telling her that it's naughty - because she goes on the floor.)

    Answer by melamommy24 at 3:26 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I second what tocreatefire said - great advice.

    Answer by bdotmom at 10:34 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.