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not ready or stuborn (potty training question)

We have been trying to potty train my son (33 months old) for the last month or so. When we are at home he will rarely tell me when he has to use the potty. He potties in his pants and doesn't tell us until we check. However, when we are out he tells us when he has to potty. Yesterday's trip to the mall resulted in being gone for 5 hours, potting 3 times, and no accidents but when we got home he peed his pull up without telling me he needed to go.

I have to admit we haven't been the most consistent. Some days we use "big boy" undies and some days we use pull ups. I frequently ask if he has to potty and he always says no. It is very frustrating.

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Asked by chrissmom734 at 10:48 PM on Jul. 31, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 10 (390 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • He will when he's ready. He's not being stubborn. He's just not ready.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:52 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • I would think since he tells you when you are out he's being stubborn. Try a reward chart at home and then maybe he'll want to go.

    Answer by fairyinabubble at 11:02 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • Maybe its the embarrassment of wetting his pants in front of other people vs. when you're at home and he doesn't care?

    He's being stubborn because obviously he's capable just there might not be enough motivation to do it at home.

    Answer by Deathlilly at 11:12 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • sounds like stubborn. he clearly knows when he has to go and how to go, just is lazy at home. i'm a firm believer in some type of punishment for something like that. little ones that age are smart, they know how to manipulate. my dd is 32 mos and has been going potty for about 2 months. she had gotten to the same point as your ds, would do great out but not at home. i punished, not severely, very quickly and just enough to let her know i was disappointed and it was wrong, and things quickly turned around. she does great now, even at night! i also used a huge amount of praise for staying dry at home...i would hoot and holler and do a dance or something, just make a big deal over dry panties at home! i had tried the reward, but it didn't really do much, praise and her being excited she stayed dry was great for her. good luck! stay consistent too!

    Answer by michellelvs4 at 11:19 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

  • He's not stubborn. Because potty training happens so late in the US, he's never had the chance to develop his sphincter muscles or to release them when his bladder isn't full to capacity. In other words, unless his need is URGENT or near urgent, he doesn't feel the need to pee and may have difficulty releasing urine from a bladder that is only partly full. He's been in diapers for almost three years, he's used to going in his pants and that takes time. When at home he may be more relaxed and the muscle just lets go. Ditch the pull-ups. They do not help and are no better than diapers. Get cotton training pants and be consistent but don't get the wrong impression that he's being contrary on purpose. Be positive and encouraging. Accidents happen.

    Answer by amileegirl at 11:41 PM on Jul. 31, 2010

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