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Do you call this overreacting?

My niece who got engaged earlier this week, is supposed to be converting from being a Methodist to Catholic. I don't really understand all of this. My sister, her mother, is making a big deal out of the situation because she doesn't want her to get married in a Catholic church. What difference does it make, as long as they love each other. The way I see it, she is pushing her away. After all, she's not the one getting married, her daughter is. My sister is very controlling, and this is her only child. I would hate to see the family fall apart over religion. But all things aside, don't you think she should be happy for her, instead of causing all these problems? I think this makes my sister selfish, and she's not thinking about her daughter at all. But it's all about Holly, my niece. Am I wrong to feel this way?

 
amessageofhope

Asked by amessageofhope at 12:10 AM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (17,397 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I agree with you. It's overreacting. I'm guessing she doesn't want her daughter to get married and is just showing it that way. I'ts more important that they love each other and get along, not where they say "I do".
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 12:11 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Maybe they should take the whole denomination thing out of it and get married by a Justice of the Peace in a beautiful garden or on a beach and be done with all of the stupid religious crap altogether??
    FeelinYummy

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 1:41 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • It's your niece's life, there has to be a point when Mom lets her grow up and make her own choices!!

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 12:15 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Her mom sees it as converting religions and is upset over it. I do think she's overreacting, but of course, my mom did it to me too. I was raised Catholic and am now nondenominational. After all, I am (and she will) still be Christian. Her mom should still be supportive of her no matter what because she is her daughter.
    Desi_Momof4

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 12:18 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • she needs to support her daughter
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 1:08 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Loving someone is the reason two people get married. What makes a marriage work though are the practical day to day ways we
    communicate and share. Whether two people share the faith or not during their marriage is something they need to work out one
    way or another so the marriage can be successful. This is for the couple to decide. Sounds like Holly, the bride has decided to convert for the sake of her marriage. Her mother needs to support her decision with kind and understanding words. It is easier
    said sometimes than to do when the subject of religion is involved. Perhaps, your sister is afraid that if the marriage doesn't work
    Holly will regret converting and she feels as her mother she should speak up. In closing, it is Holly's decision and the best way
    her mom can show concern with kind thoughts and actions.
    sunshine425

    Answer by sunshine425 at 1:08 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I dont see why she should not be able to get married in a catholic church id thats what she wants its not bout the mother she cant get her way! I think the mother is totally out of bounds on this one and needs a time out!!!
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 3:06 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • She needs to let her daughter live her own life. And be there when she needs her.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 6:32 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • FeelinYummy, that's what I did. Justice of the Peace. I was Catholic and hubby was nondenominational. But I'm assuming this daughter is converting, not just for the wedding (because you HAVE to be Catholic to get married in a Catholic church), but converting in general, because she feels her views align with it. At least I hope that's why she's converting. It's unreasonable to convert just to get married. When I changed denominations, my mom felt like she let me down. She felt like she didn't do her job and that's why I "gave up on my religion." This mom may have those same sentiments, I don't know. She still needs to understand her daughter is an adult now and can make her own decisions. She needs to support her now.
    Desi_Momof4

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 11:02 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • The mother is absolutely over-reacting. What's important is that the niece is getting married to someone she loves. If she has chosen to convert to another religion, her mother should be supportive.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:30 AM on Aug. 1, 2010