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My oldest daughter told me her stepmother is a better mom than I am. How can I deal with this?

My oldest daughter, Sarah who is 24 came to live with me on the condition that she would pay $200 rent every
month. Sarah did this the first year but at the beginning of the second year Sarah told me she shouldn't have to
pay rent. She said her other friends do not have to pay their parents rent so why should she.

Sarah worked at a pet store for five years. Then, she quit after they did not give her a large enough raise and
took a part time job When I said to Sarah you still have to pay me rent; Sarah's step mother said
that was being unreasonable and I should show her uncoditional support.


Asked by sunshine425 at 12:51 AM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Then its time for your adult 24 year old daughter to move in with her step mother. She should be supporting herself and getting her own place to live. She chose to quit a job because of irresponsible reasoning in my opinion. There are always consequences to bad decisions, let her find a solution. If her step mother is willing to support her, then let her. You aren't doing anything good for her by continuing to fix it for her. Its grow up time in my opinion.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 12:55 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I know, as a mother, her comments "hurt", your heart.

    As, a parent looking , in from the outside..........

    SEND her to live with her !!!!!

    She is 24, let her go find out "How much the grass is greener".

    The only reason, step-mom, said this,..."is she is not living with her."

    See how that works out

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:56 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • You know, I'm 25 years old and I couldn't imagine talking that way to my mother. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. (Although I am mature for my age).
    She's just trying to make you feel bad, to guilt you. Be tough and know you're a good mother. $200 is not a lot and I think it's a good idea! If she didn't live with you, she'd have to pay to live somewhere. And like it or not, when a child turns into an adult, parents DON'T HAVE to pay for them anymore. Yeah, it's nice but sometimes people just can't afford an extra mouth to feed. She SHOULD help out - if she's eating your food and using your electricity and your internet.
    Just know you're a good mom. I don't have any other advice than that. I'm sorry! I'm sure it hurt. It would make me cry if my child said that to me. But I wouldn't back down from my rule.

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 12:56 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Its not her step mothers right to but in, seems like she is trying to lead your daughter under her wing to hurt u, not cool!

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 12:55 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • My mom made me pay rent.
    They have to learn responsibility and you also don't want them living in your house forever.
    I do not think it is unreasonable at all that you are asking her to pay rent. And if the step mother wants to say something about your parenting she should say it to your face and not to your child.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:54 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • OK, step back here mom....did dd say that stepmom is a better mom, or is that your take on things? This kid of yours is 24 yrs old. She dont like the set up in your house, with rent requested,,,let her go live with step-mom. I have an almost 18, we have been there and done it all. Dd is trying to pin you against step-mom. She knows this will get to you and that it will hurt you. She needs to grow the hell up. Im not usually this straight forward in here, but with this response I am. They want to play a game thats fine, dd needs to get her act together and figure out what she wants to do. She doesnt have to be throwing what step-mom says at you,,,no way

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:59 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I don't know, but I'm sure she will get over it soon. She is probably just saying it to be mean and get a reaction. Best of luck! HUGS

    Answer by sherribeare at 12:54 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • great answer beyondhopes!

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 1:00 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Did it hurt? If so, then it worked. She's still acting like an irresponsible teenager and she's trying to manipulate u. Damn stepmother's no help. Unfortunately, DD has yet to appreciate the value of money and u r doing theright thing by charging her rent!! If she doesn't like ur rules, then she's old enuf to find her own place.

    Answer by Vero0724 at 1:01 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Tell Sarah's step mother to let her mooch off her for free. You are teaching her a valuable lesson by teaching her to be responsible. If she doesn't want to be a responsible adult then help her pack. BTW her step mother is NOT better than you. She's an enabler.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:06 AM on Aug. 1, 2010